Anonimo

Looking Back

Anonymous entries written about looking back.

29 entries

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Cinema hall

Cinema hall

According to me cinema hall is a magical place. A place where I enter with certain expectations. I keep my mind blank as the Canvas. I absorb everything from the film that I watch. I leave the cinema hall with a feeling, thought, or mixed emotions. In 2012 I entered the cinema hall to watch the film Life of Pi. The expectation from the film that I had was that I would get to view the visuals of tiger. I love all types of wild cats and hands I was very excited to see the film. I loved that film. When I left the cinema hall I was thinking not only about the tiger but overall the struggles for survival. I gave a thought that what if I get stranded with a tiger what would I do. I came up with many alternatives. In 2018 I walked into the theatre to watch Andhadhun. When I had purchased the…

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Confirmation

Confirmation

It was Friday. My regular blog went live at 6 pm. This blog was about a hone remedy for insect bite. According to me it was really easy, quick, and effective. As soon as it got live, I shared the link of the blog with my friend and family groups. I felt that everyone will get benefitted from this information. Within next 30 minutes I started receiving reactions. "Good content. Keep it up" wrote Vidya, my cousin. "Awesome remedy buddy. This will be useful," wrote Sahil, my cousin. "Great stuff coming from a healthcare professional. Keepit up," Nisha, my friend texted me. I had been receiving amazing reactions from all groups. Ibwas getting congratulated on putting a scientific content in easy terms for the benefit of masses. While receiving praise, I received one text on the group chat. "…

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Dahi Handi

Dahi Handi

I was 5 years old. We had a holiday that day for Dahi Handi. I was simply happy because I did not have to go to the school. It was a holiday for my elder sister as well. My friends to did not have school that day because of Dahi Handi. I had no idea what was going to happen that day but I was delighted because all my friends had holiday and together we were going to spend time. My friend Rinky was 2 years elder to me. At 8 o'clock in the morning she came to my house. She asked my mother if she would allow me to go up to the terrace to watch the celebration. Rinky informed that her mother too was going to the terrace so we would be under and adult's supervision. Hearing that my mother allowed me and my sister to go along with Rinky. I did not know what celebration was going to be but I…

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I feel fantastic

I feel fantastic

A couple of days ago I was going through and articles that I had found on Facebook. Title said 'Don't search these things on the internet'. Reading the title, curiosity took over me and I clicked on the article to read it further. I went through the list that was published and was excited to find if there were any topics related haunted places. Most of the things that had been mentioned on the list were the ones that I had already searched for and did not find scary or unsetling. There was one particular item mentioned in that list that made me curious. It was a song called 'I feel fantastic'. The article described the song to be scary mentioning that a robot sings this song. After reading the description I did not find that scary at all. "Why would a singing a robot would look or sound…

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Destiny Hope

Destiny Hope

My friend Shubha once asked me why I like Miley Cyrus. It was a simple question, but it made me reflect a lot. I was a teenager then I first watched the show Hannah Montana. When are you started watching it within few minutes I was completely hooked. I like how they had to treat the life of a teenager who is an ordinary girl (Miley Stuart) in her day to day life but when she goes on the stage she is a famous singer and performer (Hannah Montana). I enjoyed how they had shown her day to day life and how she struggles to hide her secret identity as the most famous popstar. The reason that I like the show was because of the protagonist who was none other than Miley Cyrus (now known as Miley). I liked my lease Disney Channel image. It was age appropriate, squeaky clean, sweet, and relatab…

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19 August 2017

19 August 2017

Date: 19 August 2017, Saturday Mood: Despaired 12 AM: We are awake, which is not unusual. But we are packing clothes, gadgets, electronics, utensils. Today is the day, we will leave this home and move to a different part of the city to a new home. It is something we had to do so that we can be near my sister and take care of my nephew. We are uprooting ourselves. In my 30s I am realising what real sacrifice is. 2 AM: we are still in process. I packed my bags. My neighbour is helping my mother to pack her bags. I am playing music on Spotify in the background. We are chatting with each other so that the work does not become unbearable. Even if it does become overwhelming we do not have an option. Everything needs to be packed. 2:30 AM: we decide to call it a day. My neighbour just left.…

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Independence day

Independence day

"Listen up students. Tomorrow you have to come to the school at 6:45 in the morning. The celebration is going to start sharp at 7 o'clock. Before the chief guest arrives we have to be ready," our class teacher Mrs Kulkarni had made the announcement. Of course the next day was 15th August the Independence Day of India. After hearing the announcement I looked at my left to my friend Mira who was sitting next to me. "Are you going to come tomorrow?" I asked her. Mira looked irritated and she said, "I have no other option. I have to be here even if I don't want to come. I am a part of the singing group. We have to sing the national anthem. I have to come even if I am unwell. Are you planning to come or you plan to take a leave?" "It does not matter what I want to do. It will be all up to my…

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Fever in the wedding

Fever in the wedding

Place: Banquet hall Time: Morning, I don't know the exact time because I am not wearing my watch Vibe: Vibrant Feeling: Feverish I am sitting on a chair. It is just a regular chair but since this is a banquet hall, there is a cloth drift around it to make it look fancy. But in reality it is not looking fancy. I am looking around. I see vibrant Colors everywhere. I see that all my relatives have dressed up really well and in bright colours. In this condition I am feeling little better to look at those bright colours. But nothing is changing the fact that I am not well. My beautiful blue dress, my bangles, my necklace, my earrings, nothing can make me feel better. No it is not an emotional thing I have flu. I am burning with fever. I see right in front of me my cousin who is the brid…

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Nice biscuits

Nice biscuits

I was in Grade 3. It was a rainy Saturday. I was really happy that day for specifically two reasons. The first reason was that the school was only half day and the next day was going to be a holiday. The second reason was that my aunty and my cousin were going to visit us for lunch. I was eager to meet my cousin. My mother picked me from the school. It was around 10:30 AM. I was hungry. I asked my mother, "what do we have for breakfast? I am really hungry". We stopped at a groceries store. My mother told me, "I have not prepared anything for the breakfast. You can take any biscuit you want from the store and have it with milk". I was delighted withbthat suggestion because I really liked milk and biscuits. I walked around the grocery store to see which varieties of biscuits are availa…

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Old memory

Sometime an old memories, sudden comes back without any warning. It can happen because of a song, smell, place or even one completely random thought. It is strange how the mind keeps certain moment somewhere in the background, and then bring them back when we least expect them. A few days ago, I was doing something completely normal when I suddenly remember an old memory from school. I do not even remember what exactly made me think about it. There was no particular reason. One thought simply lied to another, and certainly I was remembering a small event that I had not thought about any years. It was not even an important memory. Nothing major had happened. It was just one ordinary day with few people I knew, some sili conversation and a lot of laughing over something that probably would …

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18 July 2025

18 July 2025

Date: 18 July 2025 Day: Friday State of mind: Tired, unwell in general 7 AM: I got up. I am still feeling weak because I am recovering from last week's infection. Doctor says I need rest. But I am not getting any more sick leaves. I have to go to office. I am planning to return home for lunch and continue working from home till evening. The attendance to the office is what matters. 9 AM: I am sitting at my desk. I am feeling cold. Jumper is not helping. My colleagues are saying that it is hot on the floor. Am I unwell again? 11 AM: The cold temperatures are unbearable. I cannot stand it. I am shivering. My colleagues too noticed it. I will grab a cup of coffee to see if it helps. 11:30 AM: Coffee did not help. I have to head home. I cannot sit in this cubicle. It feels like Antarctic…

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No brothers

No brothers

I clearly remember it was 27th May 2006. I watch at the wedding of my cousin Arya (pseudonym). I had dressed up a properatively for the ceremony. I was wearing my favourite blue dress. While the wedding rituals wear going on I watching seated with my other cousins. That is when I heard a respy female voice from behind me, "Are you Raji's daughter?" I turned around to see an unfamiliar face - elderly woman who probably words in her 70s. She called my mother "Raji" means she must be from my mother's side of the family, I concluded. She was carrying a walking stick and had difficulty standing. I got up from my seat thinking that she needs to sit down. During this I responded to her question, "Yes I am,". I signal her to sit down but she insisted that she wanted to stand. So I stood as well t…

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Writer's block

Writer's block

While reading books or watching movies there would always be a concept called as the writers block. They would show in the media that there is a writer who is unable to come up any material to write about. The writer is assigned with the responsibility to complete the book within a stipulated time period and during that period they have no idea what they are going to write about. I used to think that right of its block is a fictitious idea until I experienced that. Start my story first let me tell you that I am a blogger. I had been writing blocks for last 2 years. I had been writing more consistently for last 1 year. Now it has become a passion to write something every week. Two weeks ago it happened. I was supposed to publish my blog in 2 days. I said in front of my laptop. Opened t…

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Turning 40

Turning 40

Happy birthday to me. Yes it is my birthday today and I have turned 40! It is really unbelievable how time passed so fast. I still remember my birthday when I was in Grade 1. I had one my new dress to the school (we had the freedom to wear clothes of our choice on our birthday in primary school). When I entered the class every classmate new that it was my birthday. Most of my classmates came and wished me immediately. My class teacher Ms. Sharma announced in the class that it was my birthday. She called me in front of the class and all my classmates clapped for me. They sang "happy birthday" out loud. I distributed chocolates to the entire class. I gave the chocolate to Ms Sharma and she told me to visit each class in the school and give chocolates to all teachers. I remember Knocking …

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Comparing with cousins

Comparing with cousins

"Mom I topped to school this time too," I enjoyed my home beaming with pride. " How much did you score?" My grandmother asked me. It was not out of curiosity. "96%", I replied politely. " That's it. Your cousin Pinky scored 97%. You need to study more," dismissively my grandmother said. All my happiness turn to ashes with this comparison. I was about to cry. I look at my mother to say something. But she did not see anything she just stood and listened. This was my entire of childhood in a nutshell. Constant comparison with other cousins from different schools. Pinky would have done something better. Raju what have scored more. Rani would have performed better on the stage. Rinky would have won a race. My cousins would have done something better than me. Then there was me - the one who…

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Old top

Old top

I was cleaning my wardrobe. This is a monthly activity I do. It keeps my wardrobe organized and reminds me to shop less. I was doing it yesterday as per my routine. While keeping the clothes back in the wardrobe I stopped. I realised that I have not seen my favorite top - the top with animal print and yellow brown pattern. I have to have it in my wardrobe. I had worn it in this week itself. I took out all clothes that I had folded and kept inside. I inspected each piece one by one, but I still could not find it. The thought of losing it made me uncomfortable. I marched straight to the kitchen to ask my mom. "Have you seen my animal print top?" I asked a direct question. "What is that?" My mom asked me, she had no idea what I was not talking about. " Brown and yellow that looks like a leo…

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Howling

Howling

This incident occurred a few years ago but it is still fresh in our memories. For a few months we were staying at a rental apartment, till our home was getting ready. In this apartment me and my parents would be in the master bedroom which was away from the entrance of the house. One night my sister and my nephew had come to stay. They stayed in the other bedroom which was close to the entrance of the house. After completing our nightly routine we all went to sleep. In the night my sister came to our bedroom and switch on the lights. Me and my parents wike up. My first instinct was to check the time it was 2:15 at night. My sister was visibly frightened. She was carrying my nephew on her shoulders who was still asleep. My first fear was that my nephew is unwell and we will have to take …

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The security guard

The security guard

This story is from my corporate career. Everyday before going to the office we had to put our bags for scanning. The security guards would pass our bags through a conveyor belt to the bag scanning machine. There the bags would get scanned via x-ray to see if we are carrying any harmful objects. We knew all the security guards who were stationed at our office. Most security guards would know us as well by our faces if not by names. All the security guards were friendly with us. One day I spotted a new security guard. He appear to be an elderly man. I asked the other familiar security guard about this new security guard. He said he was newly appointed. This new security guard looked very old and frail. Anyway I assumed that he must have passed the strict recruitment process for the secu…

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Worms everywhere

Worms everywhere

This is a funny story but I am sure everyone would enjoy it. A brief background. When I was working I used to carry fruits for breakfast. I put feel very comfortable eating fruit. Besides eating fruits has its own health benefits. It was convenient to sit at the desk, continue to work, and have breakfast which would be fruits. Every morning my mother would cut fruits in a tiffin and would pack them for breakfast. Now this incident occurred a couple of years ago. My mother had packed muskmelon for the breakfast. I reached the office, opened my laptop, opened my tiffin, and started working. I started my work and site by site I was having my breakfast. Little reading or a typing here and taking a bite of muskmelon there. This is how it was going with me. The muskmelon was delicious and I w…

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Missing

Missing

Today I took part in a study. In this study a descriptive question was asked. This question was "what do you miss from your childhood?" This question was a time bound question. At that time I answered this question without thinking much. But later I definitely thought a lot about that question. In reality what exactly do I miss from my childhood? Do I miss my toys? Probably yes. I remember a teddy bear soft toy that I had with me. It was gifted to me on one of my birthdays by my uncle. It was a light brown small soft toy. I have so many photos with that soft toy. I miss some of the small toy cars that I had. My favourite one was a truck which was believe and white in colour. I certainly miss those toys. Do I miss the colours? I used to have crayons and I loved drawing and painting when …

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From cafeteria with love

From cafeteria with love

Some people deserve a place in hell. Today I am going to tell a story about such person. I don't know the name of this person yet I believe he deserves a very special place in hell and he should suffer for what he had done. This happened approximately 17 years ago. I had started my corporate job. It was in a big multinational company. While I was working there was a mass communication sent to all employees. I was someone who built always ignore the mask communication but this was something which could not be ignored. We were all working quietly in our office space. Suddenly one of my colleague got up from his place and said, "what the hell! Guys check your email quickly. I think this mail would soon very cold but you need to read it." After hearing this I quickly opened my inbox. I saw…

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Radio tune

Radio tune

This happened yesterday. I was sitting in the bedroom and working on my laptop. I was completely engrossed in my work. My mother was with me in the bedroom. She was sitting by the window where there is a lot of sunlight. She had needle in her hand, she was stitching a pillow cover. A small a re was kept on the window and she was listening to it. She loves her radio. Despite having a smartphone and an MP3 player she continued to listen to songs on the radio. It has something to do with the nostalgia I guess. Suddenly I heard a tune on the radio and I stopped working. I knew that you very well. It was the tune of Vividh Bharati. How can I ever forget that. That tune took me several years back. I remember my school days. I used to wake up at 6 o'clock in the morning. I hate it waiting up so…

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Taste from childhood

Taste from childhood

My dad and I love to try different things. If something is new in the market we definitely want to try it at soon as it is available. Let it be a new shop, new technology, new gadget, or new food item. If we see that something is new we definitely try it out. The other day, my dad brought biscuits from a new local Bakery that had recently opened. My dad came home and give me a biscuit to taste. I took a bite and it took me straight to my childhood. I remember my childhood home. I saw myself entering my home. Iron across the living room and went directly into the kitchen. I saw my mother in the kitchen cooking something. I tell my mother that I am hungry and I want something to eat. My mother takes a plate gives me a biscuit and the snake that she was preparing. I take a bite of the biscu…

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Soaked birthday

Soaked birthday

I was born in July. My mother tells me a story that when I was born it was raining very heavily. A lot of my relatives could not visit the nursing home because of the heavy rain. Well every birthday I hear this story because every birthday it rains very heavily. I specifically remember one of my birthdays there the rain was the spoil spot. I watch 8 years old. That year my birthday fell on a Sunday. My parents had made a grand plan for the day. All my close relatives worry invited to my home to celebrate my birthday. I woke up early in the morning. I was very excited for my birthday. Me and my dad went out to get the birthday cake. In the cake shop I selected the cake which I liked the most. When my dad told the shopkeeper that it was my birthday he had given me a pastry as a birthday g…

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Looking back and Moving forward

Clearing space on my phone led to an emotional moment. The day I deleted all photos brought back many forgotten memories. As I went through thousands of pictures, some made me smile instantly while other left strangely distant, each photo told her story of a different time in my life. Many pictures showed happy moments with family and friends. Laughing faces. Celebration, photos and selfies.back warm feelings. I smiled remembering those carefree days, But some photos felt different now. Faces of people, I no longer talk to and places I don’t visit anymore, made me realise how much has changed. As I look back through those pictures, I realised that photo are more than just memories. They are proved that certain people once means a lot to us. Sometimes, I wonder if I am the only one who sti…

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Why I still Love Window Seats

I don't know when this obsession started, but if there is a window seat available, I will always use it. Doesn't matter if it's a bus, a train or even the last row in a classroom. Some how sitting next to a window makes me feel like the journey actually mine. People usually think I am looking outside because there is something interesting. Most of the time there isn't. Just roads trees electric poles people buying vegetables common kids running after a cricket ball, someone hanging clothes on a terrace. Normal things. But maybe that exactly I like it. When I was younger, train journeys were the biggest adventure ever. My father would wake me up before sunrise and say, "Look outside, we are crossing a bridge." Half asleep but I would Still open my eyes because I'm how everything look magi…

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I need to lose you to love me

I just can’t believe that it’s been 2 years since you left. I used to think why did you leave suddenly but now I think why did you come back again and left? I guess I will never know. A lot has changed in 2 years but the void is still there. Your name still hurts me. But I can’t call it a heartbreak right? Because we never dated. I can’t call it a heartbreak because there was always someone else in your mind that you were in love with. And I can’t call it a heartbreak because you were never mine and I was never yours.

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my reflection was clear

Picture a place from your past that still feels vivid. What do you remember most? It was my last outing of my exchange year. My host father had taken me to a pond. It was crystal clear. Surrounded by trees all around. The birds were quite. A soft wind was blowing. I was wearing boots because it was muddy at the way up to the pond. My hands were full of towels. The moment we stepped on the deck, I dropped all the clothes and removed my boots. I jumped directly into the water. It was ice cold. My host father jumped after me. I could feel the ripples of the water. We lapped around the water for a few minutes and then hopped onto the deck. With a towel around my shoulder I lied down on the deck. My host father and I then talked about life, my future and everything in between. We stayed like t…

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Grey hair

Grey hair

This happened a couple of days ago. I WhatsApp setting with my nephew and we were going through a magazine. This is one of our favourite activities. Ever since he was a baby I would take him with me and we would go through the Fashion magazine together. I would tell him about the piece that I liked and he would tell me about the piece that he liked. We would tell each other the reason for liking a particular piece. This is one of our routine activities which we were doing the other day. While looking at the magazine he suddenly stopped. He look at me and said, "aunty you have a white hair". I corrected him by saying, "it is not called a white hair. It is called a grey hair. You can also call it silver hearing if you want to say it in a fancy way." "Okay. Got it," he said and continued brow…

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