Why do we fall for fictional men?

I have read more fictional men than I can probably count. At this point, I have read well over a hundred characters, and yet I keep noticing the same thing: the men written by women feel different.
There is a certain softness in them. Not a lack of masculinity, but a kind of femininity woven quietly into the way they love. They are strong , confident and sometimes ridicously masculine , but they are also vulnerable, emotionally available , caring and unafraud of loving a woman deeply.
Maybe that is why so many women fa hopelessly for fictional men.
Recently, while reading Play Along by Liz Tomforde, I found myself thinking about this again. Isaiah has been flirting with Kennedy for three years. Three years of hitting on her, teasing her and making it very clear that he wants her. Yet underneath all that confidence is someone incredibly attentive to her. He never lets anyone disrespect her. And the moment he discovers that she is not actually engaged, he tries even harder.
What gets me is not simple that he loves her. It is the way he loves her.
At the end, even when he wants her desperately, he is the first one to give her the divorce papers because he knows she has sacrificed her career for him and he refuses to be the reason she gives up the life she wants.
That is the kind of fictional man women become attached to.
There was another moment with Aaron that stayed with me. He raises his voice at Juliette for a moment , immediately realises what he has done and apologises. It is such a small thing, but it says so much. He understands that being loud does not make him more of a man. Anger does not automatically make him powerful. He is able to recognise when he has crossed a line and correct himself.
And I think women notice these things.
The men we fantasise about are not necessarily perfect. They can be jealous, possessive , arrogant, stubborn or completely down bad for the woman they love. But they are allowed to feel. They are allowed to say, “I need you”. They are allowed to chase love without feeling embarrassed by it. They do not think vulnerability makes them weak.
Ryan Shay from Liz Tonforde’s Windy City series is another example that comes to mind, he learns sign language because his wife’s parents are deaf. It is such a quiet expression of love, but that is exactly what makes it powerful. He does not simple love her; he makes an effort to understand the people and world that shaped her.
Maybe the fantasy is not really about finding a man who is impossibly perfect.
Maybe it is about imaging a world where men are allowed to be both masculine and soft. Where strength does not require emotional distance. Where loving someone deeply is not embarrassing. Where a man can protect you without controlling you , adore you without losing his dignity , and admit that he cannot imagine his life without you.
These men may exist in real life. I believe they do.
But society does not always make it easy for men to be this way.