the lonely side

Hello guys how are you I am good and I hope you all are doing great so maine apne pichhali post mein Apne best friend ke bare mein bataya to Aaj Main Apne last college ke bare mein kuchh share karna chahungi. Meri graduation kafi acchi biti hai maine apne friends banae maje kiye kafi kuchh sikha aur khoob enjoy Kiya but I think aapki life hamesha Hi ek Jaise nahin Hoti Hai but all colleges your dream college to main apne agale course ke liye dusre college Gai and vahan per main kisi ko jante nahin the aur hamesha se college mein mere Sath mere school ke friend rahe hain to thankfully yahan bhi mere Sath ek dost Thi SMS School nahin hoga. I never tired to make new connection because main bahut hi chhote group mein believe Karti hun mujhe ek friend circle banana pasand nahi hai mujhe ek ya do logon ke sath uthana baithana achcha lagta hai but Jo Meri friend Thi usne kafi new connection new connections and mujhe dusron ke group mein fit hona pasand nahin Hai bahut I feel like it jo ki mujhe achcha nahin lagta to maine use jaane Diya theek hai its okay main Akeli Hun to Kya hua . Hamari freshers party I aur mera college aur ghar I think 35 km dur hai to mujhe samajh nahin a raha tha ki subah itni jaldi mein kaise aaungi party der tak chalegi to Main Ghar kaise jaaungi Main last bus mujhe nahin mil payegi to my friend ne mujhe kaha ki vah bhi uski Jo new friend hai uske Ghar ruk Rahe to tu bhi a jaaye ulta kam Kiya kyunki mujhe pata hai ki mujhe naye connection bnane nhi aate but Main Chali gai. Next day hum party mein gaye sab injoy kar rahe the lekin main 100 bacchon ki bich bhi itna Akela feel kar rahi thi ki main aadha function se bich mein uthkar hi Ghar wapas a gaye. Mujhe Ghar Aakar achcha nahin Laga because fear of missing out was very dangerous jiske saath hota hai vahi jaanta hai and use din Se Maine decide Kiya ki Main Akeli rah lungi Lekin kabhi bhi kisi connection ko forcefully apne pass nahin rakhungi aur na hi dusron ke group mein add hone ki koshish karungi aur uske bad Se Maine akele rahana shuru kar diya bahut kam college jaate the aur jab jaate the to akele baithati Thi padhaai karti thi classes attend karti thi aur akele hi wapas a jaati thi. Matlab 2 sal Maine kaise Kate Hain yah main words mein express bhi nahin kar sakti. Mere tendons kafi kam hote the but my teachers were a great support or Mene apna college pure 2 sal akele hi nikala hai ab main bahut hi jyada proud Karti hun khud per ki maine Na Koi jabardasti connection banane ki koshish ki aur na hi khud Ko let down kiya na hi khud ki self respect kharab hone De. Lekin han yah hai ki maine kafi kuchh mis Kiya kyunki I was not bathing like others I was not celebrating functions like my other classmate I was not participating in the activities because I have no support but theek hai that was life Maine donon tarah ke college life Dekhi Hai ek Jahan mein Puri class ke sath dost Thi aur ek class ke bacchon ke naam per yad nahin hue but I think that's a part of life then Hai to Raat Hai ab hai to down bhi aata hai and han mujhe donon hi situation mein kafi kuchh sikhane Mila but that's me. Reflect nahin hai mujhe lagta hai ki maine theek Kiya Jo Meri energy deserve nahin karte Hain to vahan main kuchh bhi invest nahin karungi and that's my nature and I am okay with it. Lekin कभी-कभी akele rahana was way better than Kisi Ko forcefully apne pass rakhna.