Safe place?

Parents are our actual safe place??
Yes!
Why, because may be we are students who are forced or told to be different in different situations...

I know indian parents have natural talent of playing victim card when it takes them to put their ego aside and listen our openion without judgements!
But let's just think about it for once..
Our parents generation was the one who was forced to obey.. survive..bow in front of elders..& the WORST part which I hate is to adjust.
I know that this doesn't justify their behaviour towards us, but we can definitely change our perspective towards it.
How??
See, as I am 19 now, I know I am not that experienced to give you some multi million dollar advice and all, but I can definitely tell you how to stay calm in that situation and how to protect your peace of mind...
When I was a teen, at the initial years, including the outsiders, my own parents commented on my insecurities..
I was mostly objectified at my own house, where I was suppose to heal my wounds..
But eventually I recognised a pattern in that toxic-ness.

Mostly the parents who judge their children are the one who are either not well educated (like in school or academically say..) OR are over educated (according to society, like they were forced to some degree and all..)
These type of parents never willingly studied in their prime or some of them may be wanted to buy couldn't study due to some reason.
& That subconscious guilt they directly or indirectly pass on to us!
My mom once casually mentioned a story when I was born, like a few months old..
My parents had a dream of making me a doctor when I grow up, for that dream they always wanted me to be academically topper, and practically smarter, which may be I failed to become somehow while growing up.
That's where everything started..
My teenage, my openions, my compatibility, my comfort was all somehow irrelevant to their dreams.
And watching someone else's daughter living that life which I should have lived (according to my parents), that triggered something in them..
Like I don't really have any psychological term to express it, but you guys by now would have understood what I want to say is.
.............
Back to the actual topic:
The solution on staying calm in overwhelming phase arround parents/family.

Think of it..
When was the last time the exact situation you faced?? Today morning??, last afternoon?? Or just a few minutes ago???
And yayyyyy I got you, if few minutes ago then definitely one of your parent must be lecturing you even now, like the fight is over but still someone is shooting to ragebait...
Do one thing now..
1. Go somewhere, where you are actually alone, in your room, in nearby temple, parking area, park, just on a random route, like anywhere, just away from the environment for few minutes.
2. Don't leave the house or room like you are showing them you are leaving, pretend that you have some work outside..(so they won't chase you🤌).
3. Don't forget to take your mobile and headphones with you.
4. Put on those headphones and start listening to your favourite song, [ NO sad songs].

I know, I know this sounds silly right..
But this actually works!

5. Once you complete listening to the song, don't remove the headphones, just off the song for few moments and observe things around you..
If you are outside it's easy but if you are in your room, just observe the wall, the fan( dust on the fan😉), window, like anything..
6. Observed? Good.
Now close your eyes..no it's not meditation.. Close your eyes, and just go back into your childhood...
Remember when you were in 1st std, you went somewhere outside, you liked something (toy) , you pick it up, one parent says ,' no put it back' another says, 'its okay, let's buy it'...
Yay!
& Open your eyes.. that's it, DONE..
Seems childish right??
But that's the main part.
Right now you are just another reader who is trying to distract the mind into something..
But our overthinking brain need the reassurance atleast once in a moment.
So I dare you to try out the above steps once.
I am very sure that the overwhelming situation will definitely arise in next few days soon😂.. typical Indian household things...
So whenever that happens next time..
Try this hack once and see , I mean just observe!!!
Observation is all you need!
And for the main thing..
Why only we should adjust?
Is breaking generational trauma a bad thing?
Is not obeying without quality, not respecting without gaining respect in return a bad thing?
The answer is.....
In next chapter...
Till then, please do share your thoughts and comments!!!
Stay tuned!