Respect the parent's wishes

Based on true story.

I had visited a friend's home. At her home some of her relatives had also come. In those relatives was a young couple. This couple had a young 2 year old child. The child was playing with his toys. Another elderly relative was around. The elderly relative words trying to feed chips to the young boy. The boy's mother politely told the elderly relative not to feed chips to her son, "he does not like them and also he gets cough after eating chips". But the elderly relative was reluctant, "chips do not hurt anybody. He should learn about the tastes. Otherwise he will be a fusdy eater. Here kid take these chips from grandpa,". The boy did not want to eat the chips yet the elderly relative was feeding those chips to him. When the mother politely told him again to not feed chips. Then he shouted at the mother, "modern parents are too much. They are too protective towards their children. We have raised our children and grandchildren. We know better than you and we know very well what to feed children. No wonder nowadays kids are so weak because their parents are not exposing them to anything." He was angry and the mother was little embarrassed with what had happened in front of me - a stranger.

This is something that frequently happens nowadays. I have seen a lot of elderly people who are want to say the final word about the child's welfare. If the child's parents have instructed something to them they will completely disobey and would impose their own will. They would even go a step beyond to tell the parents how they are wrong. They tell the parents that they do not know how to raise children. They also say that they have raised a lot of children and hence they have better experience and knowledge. The child's parents tell them not to do something then they say that as grandparents they are not getting enough privileges with their grandkids. But they do not understand: It is not about you. It is about children.

This is something the elder generation needs to understand. They need to understand that they should not go beyond the wishes and wills of the parents. Let the parents decide what they want for their own children. Let the parents decide what the child should or should not eat. Let the parents make all the decisions without any interference. If the parents want any advice they would approach you or somebody else but otherwise do not tell the parents what they should do. Let the parents do their job even if it is incorrect. Elders should also understand that they are not above the parents. They have no right to defy the parents and impose their wishes onto the young children.

A lot of elderly people often say that they want to impart their learnings to the new generation. But by using or imposing themselves on the younger generation or the children is definitely not helpful. Tell your learnings to the younger generation and let the younger generation decide whether they want to take it or they want to take a different route. This is the need of the hour and the elderly generation need to understand that they are not the parents of the young kids. Let the biological parents make the decision for their own children.