Nose

Just when I thought that cannot be an insecurity, I added it to my list. I feel like an avenger gathering infinity stones.

I was at a family function. I was with a few family members. An aunt walked towards us and there was an unknown young woman with her. She stopped and said, "I wanted you to meet Rachna, Rahul's fiance. The wedding will be in December. I want all of you there". She introduced and moved on.
Another aunt commented, "the girl looked good. Slim, fair, and pretty. But her nose is not straight". I was bewildered by her comment.
I decided to fight for my fellow family member, "don't say that. Nose is not something we can mould as per our choice. She was born with that nose and it makes her unique. How could you even make such nasty remark?"
"Oh I see. You feel for her because you too have flat nose, is that so?" Aunt smirked and the whole group laughed at me. In the effort to save another woman, I became the joke myself.

This was nothing new for me. I had been hearing these remarks ever since my childhood. When I was a kid I had a flatish nose. Family members would constantly make fun of me for having the nose as if it was stamped. I would be at the center of every joke and it would be about my nose. The jokes would go on even when I cried. Rather they would worsen after I would cry. I noticed this pattern when I was maybe 7 years old. The expected reaction towards the jokes was either anger or tears. So I decided to do something different. Whenever there would be a joke about my nose, I would smile and politely ask, "since you know so much about noses, tell me how should I fix my nose?" This question would be unexpected. The one who would joke about my nose would find themselves in the center of the discussion. They would be speechless because how could someone answer such question. They would try to change the topic and I would again say, "why are you not answering my question? Do you not know how to fix the nose?" I would keep repeating this question till the person who made the joke about my nose would get angry and leave the discussion.

By the time I was 9, the jokes about my nose had almost stopped. Nobody wanted to mess with me, became their verbal remarks would be challenged by my questions.

Several years later when my aunt commented about my nose, it brought back the memories as well as the same spark. I turned to my aunt and asked, "great. Let's go and tell her how to fix her nose. Or should we tell Rahul? Afterall she is our relative now, we need to help her," I extended my hand indicating my aunt to get up and go. Every laugh died right at that moment. All smiles faded. Suddenly everyone started looking at the ceiling, floor, or their own bangles. Eye contact with me had become difficult.

When I look at celebrities who undergo rhinoplasty I often wonder "did they do it willingly or they were made insecure about their nose?"