Introvert or extrovert

Alright, here is a burning question. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Have you ever been asked this question? I have been asked this question several times and people try to label me into one of these categories. In fact I hate both these labels. But here what I think.

People want to identify as extroverts. This is for a very simple reason. It is a common misconception that being extrovert means being cool. Being extrovert means being too cool for the world. Extroverted attitude or behaviour would always be appreciated is what most people believe. A lot of wanna be extroverts want to convey others that they talk a lot, they interact with everyone, they are very expressive, they are passionate, they have strong opinions. And people think that these all traits are going to make them likable. But is that true? Is really everyone fond of people who speak a lot? Does speaking a lot mean speaking with value? Does interacting with everyone make you likeable? These all are questions for those people who consider themselves to be extroverts.

Now here is something that extroverts do not know. Speaking unnecessarily does not make them cool. Speaking constantly does not make them look intelligent or social. Speaking and being loud unnecessarily, asking everyone to listen to them, or force others to talk to them does not make them desirable. That only make them look annoying. Forcing others into conversation is not something that is required. They need to understand that speaking is someone's choice. Just because you consider yourself to be an extrovert does not mean you have the right to force someone into talking to you. Also you do not have the right to label someone as introvert or extrovert.

Now let's move on to the next concept of introverts. According to most people introverts are the people who do not talk a lot. The remain quiet. The most misunderstood concept is that introverts remain quiet because they are shy or they like self confidence. Also it is often say that introverts have lack of social skills because of which they do not express themselves. A lot of people (self identified extroverts) claim that introverts do not express themselves because they are afraid of judgements. There are a lot of misconceptions about introverts.

Now the question comes down to me. What do I identify with. I consider myself to be neither an introvert nor an extrovert. I do not need any label. This is what I believe in. I believe the silence is beautiful. Silence is meaningful. Silence is not a void that needs to be filled with noise or chat. Breaking the silence is not a brave act. I also believe that speaking a lot without value is completely unnecessary. One should speak only when it is useful and mindful.

Another very important aspect is that every person should get an environment to speak comfortably. If the environment is not comfortable to them they may not speak out. It does not make them shy or introvert. It makes them self aware.

So here is what I suggest. Be an introvert or an extrovert, that is your choice. Next time when you meet someone do not ask them this question that if they are an introvert or an extrovert. Rather strike a genuine conversation. Try to take interest in the other person rather than speaking all about yourself. Give someone else attention rather than hogging everything for yourself. You will definitely notice a difference in how people approach you and interact with you.

Most importantly: Read the room and proceed.