Grandparents

'Fortunate are those children who are blessed with grandparents', I read a quote somewhere and made me think about it. In our childhood we love almost every person. But it is the 30s when we realise what is real and what is smoke and mirrors.

Seeing grandparents in our 30s (which generally are grandparents 80s or 90s) is quite painful. If you are in 30s and you have at least one of your grandparents alive, then you definitely are the gifted one (or are you?). For most people (including me) they witness the death of their grandparents in their teen years or in 20s. In 30s we see grandparents in a very different light.

We had seen our grandparents being energetic and playful in our childhood. We see them as the pillar of our family. They are the governing authorities of the family who have a final say in all decisions. But as we grow up, we miss to see them getting older. In 30s seeing them adds nothing but an emotional burden on us. We see them ailing, frail, or even bedridden. They have trouble seeing, hearing, or understanding us. Their cognitive functions work against them. They are little more than skin and bones. Looking at their condition we feel like crying but we need to act tough and smile through our tears. It is difficult to accept that their illnesses are not going to get better and they will only progress. It is sad to see in each meeting their condition worsens thatln what it was earlier. It becomes apparent that death is the only escape for them. We know it but it is something we are not allowed to say out loud. On one hand we want a long life for our grandparents but on the other hand we know that long life is not a bliss but a bane for them.

Physical ailments are one thing, but neurological and psychological ailments are a different ball game altogether. These ailments maje our grandparents a complete stranger. These ailments change them completely. They speak differently and they act like a different person. Once a calm grandparent becomes a violent person. Not because of the repressed anger but because neurological condition. Imagine visiting a grandparent - you smile at them. They smile back at you but there is no spark in their eyes. They have not recognized you. You speak to them as a grandparent. They think you are their doctor abd they speak to you that way. Their brain does not register you as their grandchild. To you they are a loving family member. To them you may be a complete stranger.

Navigating through life in 30s is something noone talks about, but it a phase that requires a lot more discussion. It is a phase where we meet the death more frequently than the new life. It is a phase where we see our grandparents on death bed and our parents becoming older. It is a phase where a lot of emotional responsibilities fall on our shoulders whether we are ready or not.

In this phase losing our mentors (grandparents) is one way life shows us how the journey is ahead of us. Whether alive or in heaven, they always remain special.

- Dedicated to all people who are grandparents 💐