Worst fear

Yesterday I was a completing a study. This was an academic research study about Human Psychology. A question that was asked me was "what is your worst fear?" This question made me think a lot. It provoked thinking beyond what happens day to day.

What is my worst fear? Is it spiders? Yes I am scared of spiders. I absolutely cannot bare the sight of spiders. I try to avoid any places where I know spiders with be there. That is why I do not go for treks or hiking. Because I know in the wild there will be spiders and those would be dangerous spiders. But it could not be my worst fear. If time comes I will kill the spiders. I crossed it off in my mind.

Next potential fear was dogs. I am scared of dogs because few times when I was almost attacked by dogs. I avoid dogs at all cost. But again this was not my worst fear. If time comes I would stand up and face the dogs. So again this was crossed of in my mind.

Moving on to the next option. Losing money or assets. Yes this is one of my potential fears. But again I do not feel that it is a worst fear. If I lose my money and assets then I will definitely take up any work to gain the money. I trust in my abilities. I know with my abilities I can earn and gain at least some acids that would be sufficient enough for me to live on. So it was a fear but not a worst fear.

Now I am not afraid of common phobias like dark, being alone, thunderstorm, loud noises, or clowns. This was making it more difficult to dive inside my mind and find out what is my worst fear.

While I was a thinking, I was sitting in front of my laptop. My dad entered the room to ask me about one of the features of his mobile phone. I explain it to me and he left the room. This is made me realise what my worst fear was.

My worst fear is losing the people who are near and dear to me. It includes my parents, my sister, my nephew, my relatives, and my friends. I cannot imagine losing them. I cannot imagine my life without them. When I get to know that someone in my family is unwell then my heart starts pounding. When I hear that the contact with my friends is not being established I feel anxious. When I come to know that one of my friends or family members is stuck somewhere and they have difficulty in reaching home I pray for their safe return. I realised that my family and friends are everything for me. My family and my friends they make my life livable. Gift they are not in my life I would not want my life at all. Losing them was my worst fear.

The question "what is your worst fear" made me think a lot. It definitely was thought provoking. It took me 15 minutes to understand my worst fear. But still now I know what am I afraid of in my life.