When if nobody was coming to save me?

There is a strange comfort in believing that someone will eventually come along and fix things.

Maybe a mentor will appear and tell me exactly what to do. Maybe the right opportunity will arrive at exactly the right time. Maybe I willeet someone who understands everything without needing an explanation. Maybe one day life will simply become easier.

I don't think I believe that anymore. The older I get the more I realized that nobody is guaranteed to come.

There may not be a perfect person who recognizes my potential and potential and pulls me out of confusion. There may not be a perfect job waiting for me after graduation. There may not be some magical moment when everything suddenly makes sense and I finally become the person I have been waiting to become.

There is just me. And honestly that thought is frightening. I have spent so much time thinking about the failure as something that will eventually happen to me I will graduate. I will get a job. I will become financially independent. I will figure myself cut. I will become confident. I will somehow know what I am doing.

But the doesn't seem to work according to that sequence. Sometimes you have to make decision while still being confused. Sometimes you have to apply for opportunities while wondering whether you are good enough.Sometimes you have to walk into rooms. Where nobody knows your name and somehow convince them that you belong there. Sometimes you have to fail without having anyone arround to explain why and sometimes, you simply have to keep moving because stopping doesn't solve anything.

The worst part is that becoming responsible for yourself doesn't mean you suddenly become capable of everything. You can still need help. You can still wish someone older wiser,or more experienced would take over for a while.

But wanting help and waiting to be rescued are not the same thing.

I think I am slowly learning that distinction.Nobody is coming to live my life for me. Nobody else can carry the consequences of my choices forever. Nobody can study for me., built my career for me make my decisions for me or guarantee that the future will turn out the way I want.

And there is nothing particularly beautiful about that realization.

It is simply true Maybe that is the frightening freedom of growing up. There is no official announcement saying. You are ready now. You just wake up One day and realize that you have already been handed The responsibility.

The person I keep waiting for may not exist. The perfect opportunity may never arrive. The rescue may never come. So perhaps the question isn't whether someone will eventually save me.

Perhaps the question is what I will do when I finally accept that nobody is coming. I don't have a satisfying answer yet. I only know that the waiting has started to feel more frightening than the possibility of trying tosave myself.