When heard my silence

For long time I thought happiness and peace were the samething. If I had what I wanted, felt supported and didn't have to worry much about tomorrow. I believed I was happy and therefore peaceful.

But sometimes, while receiving something I wanted, a quiet thought would appear : I have this, but I haven't earned it myself.

I ignored that thought many times. After all,there was nothing wrong with receiving support.Yet somewhere slowly ,limiting my sense of freedom.The person supporting me had their own responsibilities and limitations.I began to understand that depending completely on someone else's ability to provide for me could give me temporary comfort, but it could not give me certainty about my future.

Gradually my study pushed me to spend more time in silence and self.Away from the noise of thoughts,I became able to feel heard what I had been ignoring. Though I wasn't unhappily with anyone. I simply wanted to stand on my own.so I began giving up some things I could have received easily. Choosing independence sometimes meant choosing less, but slowly I realised that I wasn't using happiness, I was choosing something deeper.

For a long time, I had mistaken comfort for peace. Perhaps happiness is having what me want.And perhaps peace is knowing that even when we don't everything we want, we can still stand on our own.Sometimes silence doesn't give us an answer. It simply helps us hear the answers ans questions those are buried knowingly or unknowingly by noise of thoughts but were already within us.