what’s happening right now ?

At this moment when I am writing this ,I feel like k have got all the time in hr world ,it genuinely feels like I can do anything I want to do and which I can do ,but dosent feel like doing it .in the past I had plan to act on but suddenly they all feel worthless and not so important at the moment . Last night also had a TALK with my parents about my future plans ,let’s just say it wasn’t all sunshine and daises . I was blank when they kept on asking me about my plans and goals .When they asked me what my plans were and they didn’t have enough expense to cover my abroad masters program ,I just straight up said ILL GET A LOAN ,as if it was very easy 😂 .I genuinely don’t know where am I headed in my life ,I want to do many things but at the same time I just want to do nothing .Everyday I feel like doing something that feels productive to me but it seems like my body won’t keep pushing me further ,mind says something else and body reacts some different way when I try to sync them together . I need a mentor and a guidance to the path .Just straight up praying is not enough at this point . Wanted to pursue International management but am scared of corporate culture and don’t want a 9 - 5 job at the same time , just wanting loads of money isn’t even a job it’s just a false hope and hoax that by doing a particular course or something will get me enough credits to pass through and barely live by .Is this how I imagined my life ? I don’t think so surely ,I had many great plans but I failed to execute all of them ,I guess I am the greasiest failure and the Could have been man . Because if I could have taken some steps I could have been something else . But I am afraid I am not ,got rejected by a girl I like and that still haunts me ,even though I have bigger problems to worry about , Sloth ,Lust and Glutonny is at my peak . Form tomorrow I promoise to do something .Even small habits now give me enough motivation for my future .