What am I afraid will Happen?

What are you afraid might happen? Now ask yourself: how likely is it, truly?

Lately there is one thought that keeps visiting me especially late at night when everything is quite.

What if I don't get a job?

I am in my third year of engineering now. Only one years remains before placements begin. It feels strange how quickly time has passed. I still remember feeling like a new commer to college and now I am standing at the edge of the biggest transition of my life.

Every headline about companies reducing hiring seems to find me. Every conversation about layoffs stays in my mind longer than it should.

Major companies like Zoho, CTS and TCS are not visiting college for placements anyone. My heart sinked when I heard that and I could feel my books growing cold at that moment. It feels as though the finish line keeps moving further away as I am just getting closer to it.

But if I am honest my dear is not really about getting a job. It is about everything that's comes after.

I think about my family's financial situation. I think about the loan that still need to be paid along with the growing intrest. I think about wanting to support my parents instead of depending on them. I imagine graduation day arraiving with an offer letter in my hands and I wonder whether all these years of studying will be enough.

Those thoughts are heavy. Sometimes they make the future feel much darker than I hope it will be. So today I ask myself another question How likely is this fear tk actually happen?

Not how loudly it speaks. Not how frightening it feels. How likely it is?

The truthful answer surprised me. Yes the job market is difficult. Yes the placements may not be easy as they once were. Yes I may face rejections.

But does that automatically mean that I will never find a job? I hope that it is a No.

I means that I may have to work harder than I expected. It means that I might need to apply beyond campus placements and build stronger projects and improves my technical skills and practice interviews and build network with professionals or even start with a smaller company before reading one the one I truly want.

That is not failure. That is simply just a different path.

When I looks round I know people who didn't get placed in campus but will eventually build successful career. Some took months. Some took a year. Some started with modest salary and gradually worked their way up. Their journey wasn't easy. But it wasn't over because the first oppertunity didn't arraive.

Maybe I am treating uncertainty as certainty. I am assuming the worst even before the story has begun.

So instead of asking What if I fail?

May be I should ask What can I do today to give myself a better chance tomorrow?

I can't control how many college visit my college everyday every year. I can't control the economy and how many applicants will be there too?

Perhaps my fear is not telling me that I will fail. Perhaps it is remainding me how much my dreams and my family mean to me.