Unwanted host

It was the day of Diwali. That time I was working from home. It was an advantage during the festivals that we were able to work at the same time we were able to spend time with family.

My uncle was coming to visit us. I was glad that I would be able to spend some time with him and later could go back to my work. My uncle came home. I got him a glass of cold water. While taking water from me he asked me, "where is your didi? Is she bringing kiddo?"

According to me it was a very casual question. My sister stayed nearby and would always visit with my nephew whenever any relative would come to our place. I replied, "she will come by the time for lunch".

Uncle said, "please call her and tell her to come early. I want to play with kiddo". Uncle loved playing with my nephew and he was really excited to meet him. As per his request I called up my sister and told her to come early.

I brought Diwali special sweets and snacks for my uncle. He asked me again, "is Didi on her way? I cannot wait to meet kiddo". It had been just 5 minutes since I made the call. I could not understand why uncle was so impatient to meet my nephew. I thought maybe he had got an exciting gift for my nephew, that is why uncle is eager to meet him. I informed him what my sister had told me that they would come by 1 o'clock.

While chatting uncle said to me again, "I hope kiddo comes quickly. It will be really fun once he is here". I was getting little bothered with constant inquiry. But again I decided to give him a pass.

I was making preparation for the pooja that is when uncle asked me, " kiddo is taking really long time. I am getting bored without him". That was it. What uncle said really made me upset. I had kept my work aside to spend time with him but all he cared was when my nephew was going to come so that he can get entertained. I felt as if my presence did not matter at all. In that case I decided I should go back to work and return only for lunch. I informed everyone in the room that I was going back to work.

I left the room, came back to my desk, and started working. When it was the time for lunch I went back to have lunch with my family. At soon as the lunch was over I got back to my work. When it was the time for the pooja I went back in to take the pictures (because I am the unofficial family photographer). When my uncle was leaving I went to say goodbye.

Later that evening my mother said something that made me even more upset, " it was disrespectful of you to leave the room. It does not look good when there is a guest at home and you are not there to speak with them. You should know better and should have sat there to speak with your uncle".

I was really hurt with what my mother said. I first decided to keep quiet but then I thought it is the time for me to stand up for myself. I told my mother, " while I was sitting with uncle he just kept on asking me when kiddo was going to join. He also said that he was getting bored. I did not want to be a part of the room where I was disrespected. That is why I left the room and came back to work. If I am going to be mistreated do not expect me that I would tolerate that mistreatment". I really fired back at my mom.

Of course it was not something my mother understood. According to her it was all about respecting elders and not thinking about ourselves. For me it was standing up for myself, protecting self respect, and drawing boundaries. Irrespective of what she or others thought I knew it was the only way I could have protected myself from humiliation.