To be honest

To be honest with myself, I really don't know why I chose to journal.

My therapist says, I should do journalling, let me tell you she is my 4rth therapist, before her I did counseling with three other therapist.

Now that I chose to write and share my feelings, I want to be honest and true to myself.

But before that let me inform, I think those who chose to read me, might face some serious influence.

There are so many feelings and moment jumbling together that I don't know which one to catch and which one to leave.

My life is also like this only. I am 24yr old women, trying to survive everyday but beside it I also want to live life, feel it and enjoy every moment of it. I want to make it mine! But guess what?!

I am half dead, though I am alive I am just learning to live and live for myself, love myself.

Now, you might have got an idea that I am person who is suffering from serious depression. I have PTSD and dissociation disorder...

So do you really want to listen me? To know me? People barely have that much time to make out what I am trying to say or convey.

Obviously, a person who is half dead, how do you expect that the person will speak stuffs that are straightforward ? No, actually agreeable to society...

It's been 6yrs now, me being lost and dead, trying to find a meaning of something that matters really matters.

Love, what do you crave so much?

Not much dear, but I crave a little warmth,

An embrace that is silent but speaks thousands of words,

I don't crave so much,

Just an unintentional hug,

A little moment of unconditional love...

11:15pm August,

I will write again if you will really read me.

Moon is up above the sky now,

Sun will soon rise up.