therapy

yesterday, i was supposed to go to my therapist for a final closing session.

A while aback, around 2-3 years ago, I started having severe panic attacks, anxiety attacks and insomnia to the point that i went a week together without a single hour of sleep. My blood pressure was always high, my mind always working, feeling like it was eating itself out.

My life felt like a big failure, my entire existence a burden. My parents saw me suffer, watched as my breathings hiked up and down, my body started to shake, my teeth cluttering and my mind shattered. I cried every night hysterically begging for my mom to put me yo sleep somehow with tears falling down my cheeks and the night turning into duak and dusk turning into full fledged beaming sunlight.

my mom and dad, saw this for a while and eventually realised that i needed help. and not the metaphorical sense of the word, but actual Help.

My dad inquired about psychologists and psychiatrists in the town and qfter having discussed with his friend, who is a certified psychologist and professor of psychology, came to comclude that it would be the beat course of action to reach out to a psychologist who would treat the problem rather than a psychiatrist who would just treat the symptoms.

The next day, I went out to my first therapy session. It was awkward, uncomfortable, you name it. But most of all, I was numb to everything around me, so if was not embarrassing. I was not embarrassed to seek out help and i was not embarrased about having an issue that reached my psychology, thats when my parents knew it was bad. For me to not be embarrassed about something and for me to say yes to outside help was a big thing on its own.

My therapist was a very gentle lady, she spoke with kindness and yet a knowledge, awareness and understanding that could not be undercut by any amount of humility she held.

The questions she asked were simple and yet, they drove out some of the deepest feelings and tr@umas that i didn’t even know were still residing within me. She tackled each issue with accuracy and precision. Eventually, i was, alongside the help, able to get past the insomnia, the silence, the constant lost feeling. I was i think, finally able to get past the darkness.

So i went in for the last session as of now.