The weight of of unsent words

I think almost everyone has written a message that they never send. I know I have, sometime I type everything. Whatever i am feeling, reading it again, and then quietly close the chat without pressing the send button. The message stay there for a while or sometimes i deleted it completely. In the end, nobody else ever knows those word except me. At first, I used to think that sending the message would make me feel better. I believe that if I explained my feeling clearly enough, the other person would understand me. Maybe they would understand my side of story , maybe they would reply or maybe everything would become normal, but time pass, I realised that life does not always work that way.

There have been moments when I wanted to explain why I was hurt and how much I am guilty about the incident that happened, and I wanted to ask why someone changed or why things ended the way they did. I wanted answer that only the other person could give. Like sometime just why these things happened, and am I the bad person in this story so I started typing. Every sentence carried emotions that I had been holding inside for a long time then I would stop and read the message one more time. Slowly, I would begin asking myself an important question. Was I sending this message because I truly need an answer or because I was hoping things would become the way they used to be? Most of the time I already knew the answer. Not every message need to be sent. Some messages are written only to help us understand our own feelings. Writing them allows us to release emotions that have been sitting quietly in our hearts. Even if no one else ever reads those words, they have already served their purpose.

I have also learned that silence is not always a bad thing. Sometimes silence is acceptance. It is choosing peace over another argument, it is understanding that not every conversation needs another reply or maybe another closure. Some chapters and quietly, and that is okay.

Of course, choosing not to send a message is not always easy. There are moments when I still wonder what would have happened if I had pressed the send button. Would everything has changed? Maybe. Maybe not. But I have realised that one message cannot change people who have already moved on or decisions that have already been made. Maybe sometime, I feel like I am the wrong one in the story,

but I think sometime we just have to move on by becoming a villain in some story and this is okay..

As I have grown, I have started believing that closure does not always come from another person. Sometime it comes from ourselves. It comes from accepting that we cannot control how someone thinks, feels or response because this was the destiny.

Today, I see those moments differently. The last message I never sent was not a sign of weakness or fear. It was a quiet decision to protect my peace. Sometime the strongest thing we can do is not to say one more thing, but to accept that some words are meant to stay with us. Not every story needs another ending and not every message need to be delivered for us to finally move forward.