The soundtrack of my life

I dint think music heals everything.

People say it does but I don't believe that. Sometime music doens't heal us. Sometime it just reminds you exactly where it hurts.

There are songs that I can't listen to anymore. Not because they are bad but because they belong to a version of my life that I no longer wanted to visit. The moment the first few seconds okay I am transported to somewhere where I thought I have forgetten and moved on.

A rainy bus ride or a particular classroom or an exam season where I was exhausted and pretending not be afraid. A family trip that seems ordinary at that time but now feels impossibly distant. An childhood evening when life was simple becauseI hadn't yet learned how complicated it can become.

And they were there every time. Giving me comfort and never failing to distract me in a world that I don't have to think.

Soemtimes I didn't remember the exact day something happened m I don't remember what I was wearing kr what I ate or what the whether was like.

But ai remebers the song being played in the background.

And suddenly I remember everything. The person I wasm the things I believed and the people so trusted. The things that I didn't lose yet at that time. It all comes back with a brick settling on your stomach and your legs wobbling can't seem to hold your weight. You can feel every drop of your body freezing been when you are in one of the crowded places.

There are some songs that reminds of the people that I no longer speak with

Sometime hearing a song doens't make you want to comeback.

They remind me of people who I was foolish enough to believe that they will be here and that they will always exist here.

Some songs belongs to heartbreak. Not the dramatic kind from the movies. It so the quite kind. The kind where yoh xinfune attending classes and answering messages and eating dinner and pretending nirgthi g amyas changed while something instead your body and stop any test in medical consultancy.

There are a lot of version that stages that have listened to nany songs. It's doens't always preserve the truth. Is preserved jt feeling. And feeling are often more subtle than memories. And feelings are more stubborn than memories. Sometimes I don't remember that day it the conversation and not exactly what happen. But only the simg that was playing.