The Mirror was never my Enemy

For the longest time, my biggest insecurity has been my looks and weight. I am a short and chubby girl. I was always ashamed of my looks since my childhood; even my friends used to mock me as I was short, but during that time I used to ignore such comments as I was a kid and didn't have that much understanding, but during my college days I started to feel more insecure about my height and my appearance. I had a roommate in my bachelor's who was of good height and was beautiful. I started feeling conscious, and I was jealous of her. Many students from the college used to like her, and everybody wanted to talk to her. On the other side, I was cute, but my height was short. Nobody made me feel so insecure about my height and looks the way I made myself. I started hating myself, especially after my partner cheated on me. I felt that I was the problem and I had to change myself, but despite my continuous efforts, nothing changed, and I felt more frustrated. I even tried to commit suicide, as I think that I am good for nothing. On top of these, I didn't score well in my first sem, even though I used to be a topper in my school, which made me feel more horrible. I was depressed and started to cut myself off from everyone. Then a friend came into my life, and he is the one and only friend that I have. He motivated me and explained to me that these things are not in my hands; I can't increase my height. But the weight can be managed only if one wants to. He always explained to me that I am beautiful as I am; I don't need to change anything, only to show others. I have to be satisfied with myself because people can never be satisfied, and they will always find something wrong and bad in me. There is one life, and I have to live it for myself and not for others; I have to satisfy myself and not others. Then, after that, slowly, slowly, I started understanding these things and tried to change my point of view about myself. I felt that to impress, I didn't have to change myself; I had to work on myself only if I wanted to. Then I worked on myself to stop feeling insecure around others and focus on myself and be a better version of myself; after that, my grades also improved, and I started to top again in my class and started feeling confident after that. My appearance was never a problem; the problem was my mindset. When I changed that with the help of my friend, everything started to feel better again, and I started to be happy. So the mirror was never my enemy, but my mindset was, and I always recommend others to feel confident and not let anyone judge you about your looks and make you feel uncomfortable, as it is your life, not others'.