The message I Didn’t want

There are some people from the Passed whose name you do not want to see in your phone anymore. Not because you hate them, but because you already know what they can do to your peace. You have worked hard to move on, and then one random message can make you remember things you had finally stopped thinking about.

That happened to me recently again

I saw a message from someone. I never expected to hear from again. The moment I saw their name, I knew I did not want to open it. My first thought was simply this person again. Why? Now, I had no interest in knowing what they wanted to say. I did not want to have a conversation, explain anything or go back to a part of my life that I had already left behind.

It is strange. How one notification can bring back so many feelings. I had not been thinking about that person at all. I was going about my normal day and suddenly my mind started remembering things. I had not allowed myself to think about for a long time.

It was not a good past. There was things that hurt me deeply, Things I wish I had happened differently and moments I would rather not reply in my mind. I had already spent enough time trying to understand what happened. I do not want to go through the same question again.

For a moment, I felt angry. Then I felt uncomfortable. Then I just felt tired.

I think that was the biggest thing I realised, I was tired of that chapter.

Sometimes people think that if someone from the past connects you, you should response because maybe they deserve an answer. But I do not think every message needs a response. Sometimes protecting your peace more important than satisfying someone’s curiosity.

I do not know why that person decided to message me again after so long. Maybe they wanted to talk, maybe they remember something or maybe they simply felt like reaching out. But honestly, their reason does not matter to me anymore now.

I have changed since that time. I have build a life outside the situation, I have learnt things, meet people, had different experience and slowly become comfortable with myself again. I do not want to reopen an old wound just because someone decided to knock on a door that I had already closed.

The hardest part was probably reminding myself that ignoring that message does not make me rude. I was allowed to choose peace. I am allowed to protect myself from situation that I know are not good for me.

That message reminded me that healing does not always mean forgetting everything.

So I did not reply.

And strangely after making the decision I felt. That message was still there on my screen, but No longer had the power to control my mood.

Maybe that is what moving on really looks like. Not pretending that past never happened, but refusing to let her disturb the peace. You worked so hard to find.