The conversation I keep Having with The Mirror

Every morning, I stand in front of the same mirror.

For years I thought I was kooking at my reflection.

Now I realise I was looking at my relationship with myself.

There was a time when those few minutes in front of the mirror become a daily interrogation.

Why didn't you do better yesterday?

Why are you still behind everyone else?

What aren't you the person you though you would be now?

None of these questions had anything to do with my appearance. They had something to do with my expectations.

I remember one evening after a particularly exhausting day. Nothing has gone terribly wrong but nothing has gone according to the plan either. I had spend hours working and worrying and comparing myself to propel who seems to be moving through life much faster than I was. When I finally walked into my room, I caught my own Reflection before turning off the lights.

For a moment, I just stood there. I looked tired. Not physically. Emotionally.

And then something strange happened. Instead of criticizing myself like I usually did, I imagined that the person in the mirror wasn't me.

It was my best friend. Would I tell them they weren't enough? Would I remind them of every mistake they had made? Would I compare their journey to someone else's?

If course not.

I would probably tell them they were trying their best. I would remaind them that growth inst always visible. I would tell them that one difficulty day doens't erase months of hard work.

Then it hit me. Why was I capable of offering so much compassion to everyone else yet so little to the person who needed it most?

Since that day my conversation with the mirror have slowly changed.

I still hold myself accountable. I still have dreams that keep me awake at night and expectations that sometimes feel impossibly high. But I have stopped confusing self improvement with self punishment.

I have learned that I can acknowledge my mistakes without turning them into my identity. I can celebrate someone else's success without feeling it seals my own. I can be a work in progress without treating myself as a failure.

The mirror because less if a judge and more of a witness. I had watched me grow and watched me fall. It has seen tears I never explained to anyone and smiles that arraived after battles no one knew I was fighting.

Looking at it now I don't see someone who have figured it all out. I see someone whobis learning. Maybe that's enough. I

I deserve the same patience and forgiveness and kindness that I freely give to everyone