The Concept of Friendship

Friendship is the most beautiful and complicated phenomenon at the same time. Hi everyone, I am a nineteen year old, currently studying English literature at University of Delhi (DU). When I came to Delhi for the first time, no one was with me except my parents. All of my school friends got admissions in some other colleges and I was the only one who moved out to pursue my under graduation. I missed them a lot, missed them too much. Though I made some new friends in my college but they would never be like my ols school's friends because my school friends knew my background, my habits, what did I like and what did I not like. They have seen me since my childhood to my teenage years but my college friends, I don't think so they know me any better than the formers. Since I have met them only by around two years ago from now. I don't mean to say that they are not good. All of them are great friends and some of them made my survival possible here but it's just that that they could never take the place of my school friends'. All of them are irreplaceable.

Friendships here in Delhi are complex. I am not against being selfish. All people here are selfish. Yes, it is true that you should maintain your own life and work first and then move forward to help others. But people here, do remain to themselves only. I really wanted to prove it wrong to my parents that all people are not like this, not everyone is selfish but I did fail in proving so. To every person whom I trusted , they betrayed me. All of my secrets were spoiled without my consent. I was the one who was continuously sidelined in a group of four-five people. I lost very good and genuine friends in my first semester, who I admired with all my heart. It served as a lesson for me to not trust anybody out there easily. Following the policy of whatever happens, happens for a reason, I moved on, they moved on and we all got happy and busy in our lives. Well, at the same time, I got distant from my school friends too because all of them demanded constant updates and communications about my life here. And this was becoming hectic. Due to my assignments, tests, college clubs, societies etc. And somehow I was not able to attend them.

What I believe is that friendship should not be like this. I have a few friends with whom even if I talk after three to four months, they never complain, they never asks for too much. The vibe is just the same even after no contact for a longer period of time. Everyone needs this kind of friendship. Friendship is not a kind of give and take away thing. Instead, it should include mutual understanding that life sometimes get busy and you cannot stay available for anyone 24/7. Friendship must include companionship and equal emotional support from both sides. What you can't share with your family, you can share it with your friends and let them acknowledge and understand your feelings way better without being judged.

Well now, from my experience here, away from my home, I believe that friendships here are based only on completing your self work. That's it. That's the sole reason for friendship here. So guys, if you are out there, making new friends, you may find great people but be aware and try not to trust people easily and allow them to deceive you. Learn to be happy with your own selves. Nobody is permanent here in our life. And this is life. It is a part of life. The inevitable nature of everything, the impermanence of life and people here. Thousands of people will come and go but you must maintain your own health by finding joy in small little things around you. Don't take things in such a negative way that you start feeling that there's nothing positive left in your life. This negativity doesn't allow you to notice the small little acts of joy around you and it destroys you and the people around you because of the void inside your mind.