Slender forever

" Do you know you will look better if you shed at least 10 kilograms? Have you thought of joining a gym? Along with that do consider a low calorie diet. Try aerobics, it will help you lose weight faster. Get up early in the morning at 5 o'clock and start practicing yoga it will help you a lot to Lose your weight. You are very young you should lose weight. You will have a lot of health problems later in your life". Just some unsolicited advice that I had received. Mind you, I was a 14 year old girl. A girl who is about to step in adulthood. A girl whose body is changing. A girl for whom the hormones have taken over the control. A girl who knows that she is gaining weight but it has nothing to do with the food or exercise. I would eat only home cooked meals with less oil less fat and low calorie. I used to exercise 4 to 5 times in a week for 30 to 40 minutes. So diet and exercise were never a problem. Yet, unfortunately such a girl received the toxic advice.

The 90s and early 2000s were the decades which were the worst for young girls and women. I say this as my first hand experience. I was never overweight or obese. I was taller than all the other girls of my age. I was a Kilogram or 2 heavier than my recommended age. No doctor ever told me to lose weight. However people around me always had an opinion about my weight. According to those people I was mobidly obese. I was hounded by all these people who had zero medical knowledge about human anatomy. Wherever I used to go some or the other person always use to come up with a diet plan or a weight loss strategy. They would make me feel small. They would demean my entire existence. Whenever I used to meet a large group I used to hold back my tears. After returning home either I used to take shower where I used to cry or I immediately used to go to sleep so that I can cry myself to sleep. People who had no idea about hormonal changes or the bane of adolescent, were telling me that I am unhealthy, obese, and I may get multiple diseases before I turn 20. Their every word would pierce my heart. There advice would shatter me. At one point of time I started believing that I am a lost cause. Just like the way they used to say I started believing that I am a fat and ugly girl.

But thankfully there was one doctor who told me otherwise. I visited this doctor for a very different medical condition. While Consulting he asked me of few questions to diagnose my condition appropriately and to treat me with the best possible medications. During that I mentioned my concerns about my weight. He was the first one to tell me that you are an adolescent, you are growing up, your body is changing each and every moment. He also told me that your weight is because of water retention and not fat. He explained to me that why there is a weight fluctuation. I understood because I was a science student. He also told me that once you hit 20 if you fall ill you will lose this weight instantly. He said that you will shed 4 to 5 kilograms in a span of a week. I did not believe him until it actually happened. When I was 22 I had a viral infection - common influenza. During that episode I was unwell for approximately a week and the in that week I had lost 8 kilograms. After losing that weight I never gained it back.

Later the same people who used to tell me that I would look better after losing weight, were telling me that how pretty I used to look when I was chubby. The words which used to make me cry now were making me furious. I felt like I should punch them in their face and knock all the teeth out. They dare to tell a young woman that she was not worthy because she was slightly overweight. And now you are telling a young woman that she is too skinny.

Any conversation regarding weight still makes me furious. And this was the toxicity I grew up with. Today if anybody makes any comment about my weight I know how to shut their mouth. I ask them you have an opinion about me. Okay let's go ahead and pay my home loan EMI. That brings me the golden silence.

My advice to anybody is that do not advise anybody on there weight. Do not tell anybody to gain or loose weight. You have no clue about their life or their health condition. You are not feeding them to comment on their weight or their bodies. Keep your mouth shut. Keep your opinion and unsolicited advice to yourself.