RSVP

A friend promised something and then forgot you even existed. Has this ever happened to you?

This is my story. I was friends with 4 girls in my college. We were close. At least I used to think so. One particular friend R was very close to me. We had a lot of things in common. We shared some quality time in our college. After the college we chose different path. I joined corporate and started working. She joined a matrimony portal and got married. Despite our common traits, our ambitions were different, evidently.

R got married and moved to a different city. Our communication reduced day by day. I would always start the conversation and she would reply whenever she felt like. R would never initiate any conversation so even I stopped calling and texting her. I had many important things to take care of.

A year later, I had completed my post graduation course and progressed well at my job. R too had progressed in her life. She had become a mother. R messaged me one day to inform me that she had given birth. I congratulated her. We chatted for some time. Then she said the naming ceremony would be soon and she wants me to come to the ceremony. I agreed. We had no bad blood, we had just become distant.

A few days later I received a call from one of my friends. She was asking me if I was coming to the naming ceremony of R's child. I said yes I am coming. But what my friend said next, shocked me. She was calling me from the ceremony. She was present with our friend group. Some more people from college were also present. I froze after hearing this. R told me that she would invite but I never got the invitation. I was not expecting a formal invitation but at least the date and venue. But that too was not informed. I told my friend that I did not know when and where the ceremony was going to be and I will not be able to make it. I hung up and I was in tears. How could my close friend do this to me?

I decided to let this slide. I thought maybe she was busy and forgot to invite. I tried to give her a benefit of doubt. I thought after all we are all humans and we make mistakes. I wanted to forgive and forget. But then I started noticing a pattern. R would text me to tell me that she is planning something and if I would be interested. I would say yes but I would never receive the invitation or confirmation. The entire friend group would be there wondering when I am coming. This is how it happened for quite of you events.

Once R texting me to ask me if I would be interested for a lunch with all my friends. I said I would be interested but you would definitely decide not to include me. I was very direct this time. I wanted answers. I no longer wanted to be taken for granted. After that she said it is never intended. She started with explaining her position that how she missed several times to tell me about when we are meeting. I said I know longer required explanation and I have understood the intent. Asking me is only per formality and in reality you do not want to include me. If it is only for formality then stop asking me as well. I did not respond after that. I was not interested in fake apologies. And that is how of friendship ended.

I learnt from this friendship that if your presence is really required then there will be an effort to at least tell you about the time and venue. If you are taken for granted then decline. If you are not invited then decline. If it is a last minute invitation then definitely decline. I consider myself to be a high value woman. I know longer tolerate such behaviours.