Rewatching 500 days of summer

I watched 500 days of summer today.

The first time I watched it. I remember thinking that summer was the problem.

She was confusing. She gave Tom hope and then pulled away. She said him feel special and then acted as though nothing serious had happened. From Tom's perspective, it was easy to look at her and think. How could you do that to someone?.

So when I watched it again. I expected to feel the same anger.

I didn't.

This time, I kept noticing Tom and suddenly, the story became much less comfortable.

The wasn't simply the innocent boy who loved a girl who didn't love him back. He had created an entire version of summer inside his head. He noticed the things that supported his idea of her and ignored the things that didn't.

She had told him what she had hold him she didn't belive in love. She had told him she didn't want a serious relationship, and somehow , Tom still beloved that underneath all of that was a girl who would eventually change her mind because their connection was different.

Maybe that was his mistake. He wasn't necessary in love with Summer as she actually was. He was in love with the possibility of who she could become.

And Summer wasn't completely innocent either. She knew Tom wanted something deeper. She knew he was becoming emotionally attached. Yet she continued accepting the closeness without fully confronting what it meant for him. Even if she never intentionally promised him forever. She still participated in something she knew he was experiencing differently.

So who was wrong?.

Both and neither.

That is probably what makes the movie hurt more as I get older. Sometimes two people can genuinely care about each other and still be completely wrong for each other.

Sometimes nobody cheats. Nobody is cruel. Nobody deliberately destroys the other person. They simply want different things.

Tom wanted certainly. Summer wanted freedom. Tom interpreted their relationship as a beginning. Summer experienced it as something temporary. The painful part is that Tom only understood this after losing her.

And maybe that happens in real life too.bwe rewrite relationships after they end. We turn people into villains because it is easier to hate someone than to accept that the relationship simply couldn't become what we wanted. I think that is what changed for me while watching the movie again

The first time, I watched it as Tom.

This time I watched it as someone who understands that people can hurt each other without either person being completely evil. Sometimes live doesn't fail because someone wasn't good enough. Sometimes two people simply wanted different futures.

And sometimes the person we blame for blame for breaking our heart was never actually holding the same picture of the future that we were. Maybe the hardest part isn't accepting that they were wrong for us. It is accepting that we were wrong about them.