Reunion

I received a phone call yesterday from a school classmate. I did not want to answer it but I still did. I dislike everyone from my school. Not because I was bullied or I was disrespected. I did not like anybody from the school because I felt that I do not belong to that group.

Anyway I responded to the phone call. He told me that after finishing our school we have completed 25 years. My classmates are planning to arrange a renion at the school. He sounded really excited about that. He was expecting the same kind of enthusiasm from me. I pretended to get excited. But in reality I wasn't even a bit excited.

I had spent 12 years in that school but I have no attachment to it. As I said I always felt that I did not belong there. I always felt that these people are not like me. I had been a very sincere and studious girl in my school life. I would always be surrounded by books and studies. I would not participate in sports. I would occasionally participate in art competitions or any other extra curricular activities which would enhance my skills. I was not a girl who would go to school to have fun. My purpose of going to the school was to learn new things and progress in my life. I did not like anybody who did not share the purpose with me. Hence obviously I did not like most of the students from my school. I always felt that I belong to a more sincere group rather than being with vagabonds.

Once the school got over I deliberately disconnected with everyone at school. I did not save anyone's phone number after I left the school. I did not want to stay in touch with anyone from the school and waste my time. Yet as the innovation started happening somehow someone from the school got my number and my classmate was able to contact me.

This all happened 25 years ago. Now that is a very long time. Over the years most of my classmates are working at good companies. They have progressed well in their careers. But when they speak in the group they are always stuck in the past. They always speak about how they would trouble teachers at the school or how they were punished at the school. They talk about these things as if they are precious memories. I absolutely hate that. Even after 25 years I still feel that I do not belong to this class. This is not the group that will foster my growth.

Most of my classmates are looking forward to the reunion which would happen in December this year. I am not looking forward to it. I do not want to meet any of the old classmates. I do not want to indulge in those discussions. I want to stay away from all of them as much as possible. I do not want to bring back those memories which I have buried for almost 25 years. I am not looking forward to meeting my classmates. I am not attending this reunion as well.

As an adult I know that nobody can force me. I can decide what I want to do. I cannot be guilt tripped into doing any activity because others would get hurt if I do not do it. I will make the decision that makes me happy and comfortable. That decision is staying away from this toxic reunion.