Random thought(?)

I think one of the loneliest feelings in the world is realising that nobody knows who you are becoming. Not who you are. People know that version. They remember your old habits and your old jokes and your old dreams.

The person you are slowly becoming? That version often grows in silence. Maybe that is why growing up feels strange. The biggest changes rarely happens where people can see them.

Nobody notices the day you become a little more patient. Nobody appluads when you finally forgive yourself for a mistake you have arrived for years. Nobody realizes you have been stopping crying over something that once kept you awake at night.

The most important transformers happend quitely. Like flowers booking before sunrise. Like stars melting beneath the surface of a lake. Like stars appearing one by one in a darkening sky. Invisible until suddenly they are not. Lately I have been thinking about all the conversations we will never have.

The apologies that remain unsaid. The feeling that stay hidden. The stories that never leave our mouths. Every person we pass is carrying entire worldd inside them. Dreams that have never spoken aloud.

Memories they revisit when nobody is watching. Fears they disguise with smiles. Hopes they disguise with smiles. Hopes they protect from disappointment. We walk past each other every day without how much is happening beneath the surface. May be this is why kindness matters so much.

Not because everyone deserves it but because we rarely know what some one is carrying. The cheerfull cashier may be grieving some one. The quiet student is fighting a battle that no one sees. The confident co worker might spend every night doubting themselves. The stranger who sees distant may be tired from unspoken things.

We all are walking through the chapter that others cannot read. And some how despite all the certainity life continues. The sun rises and the coffes grows old and message arraive and deays become weeks and weeks becomes years .

One ordinary afternoon quietly becomes a memory you will think about a decade later. That is another thing I have learned. Life is not made up of grand moments as we think it will be. It is made of small and little one.

A song playing from another room or rain talking sifly against a window or a friend rembrring something you said months ago or a laugh that arraives at exactly the right moment or a stranger holding a door open.

Small things and unforgettable things and yet somehow they become pieces we miss most when they are gone. May be happiness is not a destination waiting some where in the future but it is hidden inside these irdinarymonents we keep rushing postm

The warm cup of tea. The evening breeze. The familiar voice in the phone. The comfort of knowing someone thought about you today. I do not have any good conclusion. No life changing lessons. Just a thought.

Perhaps we spend too much time waiting for life to begin. Waiting for success and waiting for certainity and waiting for the perfect moment. Meanwhile life is already happening right now. In this breath and in this moment.