Photographs

A couple days ago I was going through the old photographs. The photographs from the old times - captured on the camera roll and printed on glossy paper. I was going through each and every album from the storage. I was looking at every photograph and thinking about the time it was taken. I was reliving those memories. Some photographs brought the pleasant memories while other brought agony and pain.

One of the albums that I was looking at was from my fifth birthday. I saw a solo photo of myself. I was wearing a blue frock (blue was my favorite colour right from my childhood). I was standing next to the cake. I was smiling. I immediately remembered what I had been feeling when that photo was taken. I was happy not because it was my birthday; I was able to get cake or presents. Rather I was happy because all my family members had gathered to my home. I was happy to see my cousins. I was delighted because I was going to get an opportunity to play with them. When my dad told me to smile for the photograph it came from within because of the happiness and love I was feeling around me.

I turned the page to see the photograph of my grandparents along with all the aunts and uncles. This one made me sad. All the grandparents I saw in the picture are no longer with us. I had lost them when I was in my adolescent years. Then I was looking at the faces of my young uncles and aunts. Of them I had lost many already. I was looking at their young and smiling faces remembering that they are no longer with us. Thinking about the departed ones brought tears to my eyes.

Then I saw another happy photo. In that photo all of us cousins were there. I being the main character was standing in the centre and all my cousins had surrounded me. All of us where smiling and looking at the camera. Then I scan to all the faces. Two of my cousins where already in their teenage and trying to look cool for their age. Rest of my cousins were from the age between 8 to 12 years. I was seing their missing teeth. Despite of those missing teeth they were grinning from ear to ear. Those innocent smiles with broken and fallen teeth made me laugh to my core.

Then the next photo was my mother serving food to the guest. Despite working really hard that day my mother did not look tired. She still looked very happy. It was a candid picture and she was smiling looking at one of my aunts. This picture made me feel a deep sense of gratitude. That time I did not realise how much work and planning my parents must have put in arranging the birthday party. Being an adult who arranges parties now I understood how much effort had gone into that party which made me feel greatful.

The last photograph was of the entire family excluding my dad. It was because my dad was taking the picture. In that picture everyone was smiling happily. There were no fake smiles. The picture told me that everyone had a great time and enjoyed the party. This was the photo that made me wonder if only the techniques of selfie were discovered back then.

Looking at the old photos is always a mix bag of emotions. Each photo had the potential to give me immense happiness and hint of pain. After all it was my choice which feeling I wanted to carry on. I decided to pick happiness, gratitude, and peace.