Photo needed

Recently my classmate have formed a new group on WhatsApp. Everyone is meeting the whole class after a proximity 25 years. Everyone is pretty much excited about it. One person on the group demanded that every person should send their latest picture so that the other classmates no how they look like now after several years. Most people in the group welcomed this decision. The group was flooded with images and videos.

I was annoyed specifically for three reasons. First reason is that by sending images and videos the chat box is getting unnecessarily flooded. I am not interested in looking at how my classmates look right now. I have no enthusiasm to see how they look, whether they look good or bad, weather they are skinny or fat, I literally have no interest towards it. Second reason is that I am worried about the privacy. I am not comfortable with sharing my photos with other people. I do not want my photos to be in someone else is gallery for no apparent reason. I have my own concerns towards the privacy and security of my identity. Third reason is little strange. I do not have my individual photos. I am the family photographer in my house. I have photos of everyone in my family. However I do not have photos of my own.

One classmate message to me 1:1 saying that I had not send my photo to the WhatsApp group. I did not revert to the text message. Sometime later another classmate message me asking for the same thing. I denied this time as well. For my reasons I do not want to share my pictures anywhere.

But then I got into another thought why I do not have picture is of myself? Now it is everybody has a phone camera. It is true that the responsibility of taking pictures at family events lies with me. However why no one even thinks that my pictures should be taken? Nobody in friends or family circle ask me if I want my picture to be taken? Nobody offers to take my picture. In all pictures I am only in the group pictures. That to I am mostly bloody because I said that timer and run back to the group so that the picture is taken. I am barely in any photos. Why does that happen?

That moment I feel that maybe my only purpose is to serve as a family photographer. Nobody find the value for me to be included in any of the pictures. Nobody even feels that I should be a part of the photos which they are taking. That made me really sad and disheartened. I went through my camera roll to find at least one good picture of me. I just found a few selfies and nothing else. If tomorrow I have to show the evidence that I was present at the event I would not have any. I could just show the pictures that I have taken in which I am not present.

With this whole episode I determined something. Next time onwards I am going to specifically ask someone to take a photo of me. I will ensure that they take a good photo of me and not just for formality. It is not only about the photo but it is about my significance. I will make sure that I am proving that.