No brothers

I clearly remember it was 27th May 2006. I watch at the wedding of my cousin Arya (pseudonym). I had dressed up a properatively for the ceremony. I was wearing my favourite blue dress. While the wedding rituals wear going on I watching seated with my other cousins. That is when I heard a respy female voice from behind me, "Are you Raji's daughter?"

I turned around to see an unfamiliar face - elderly woman who probably words in her 70s. She called my mother "Raji" means she must be from my mother's side of the family, I concluded. She was carrying a walking stick and had difficulty standing. I got up from my seat thinking that she needs to sit down. During this I responded to her question, "Yes I am,". I signal her to sit down but she insisted that she wanted to stand. So I stood as well to show respect and to communicate with her.

She then ask me, " are you the younger or the older?" When she asked me this question I wondered if she is a very distant relative of my mother. Simply because we knew all my mother is closed relatives and my mother's close relatives also new me and my sister very well. Since she did not know whether I am the older or the younger one it was safe to conclude that she was a distant relative.

I said politely, " I am the younger one. My elder sister is with aunt helping her with the preparation," I believed that this different relative would be satisfied with my response. I saw a disappointment on her face.

With a sad she asked me, "do you have no brother?" The sadness reflected in her voice as well.

Teenage me was unable to understand the sadness. I was little confused but still I politely told her, " no we do not have any brother. It is just me and my elder sister."

Her sadness continued to grow with my response. With your full eyes she look at me and said, "Raji is so unfortunate. No son in the family," and she just walked off.

I was completely confused with the entire conversation. What did he mean when she said that my mother was unfortunate? Unfortunate for having two daughters or unfortunate for not having a son? Why would even someone think that having two daughters is a misfortune? I was not able to understand at all. Without thinking further about it I returned to my cousins.

Today when I think about it simply makes me furious. The older women used to think that if there is no sun in the family then it is because of their sins. They you to think that daughter are burdens. Only there sons would take care of them when they get old. This is why they would never treat their daughters in a fair manner. They continued to make the women feel small because they had daughters.

This elderly women that I made at my cousins wedding also tried to make me feels small by telling me that I do not have brothers with a sad face. Also I had always seen that it would be women who would curve other women for having daughters and not sons. I don't know if she would have said something to my mother.

That is when I realised what they say about women: A woman's worst enemy is a woman.