Merry-go-round

As a child, I used to enjoy the merry-go-round. It used to be fun. Once my comfort place. Never thought that one day life will show me a different aspect of the same ride I enjoyed once.

It feels like I am stuck in a Merry-go-round of life choices. The words seems heavy, aren't they? But this, is the perfect choice of words, to describe what's going on. Which I really can't figure out. Everything is just going round and round. I can't get off this ride, no matter how hard I try. I am just thinking and then thinking again. There seems no end to this horizon. Everytime it seems like I am moving forward, it spins around. And I come back to same old place. Not knowing "why?" or "how?"

There are times, I doubt if this is all in my head. Am I causing all this by myself? And this is the worst part when I start to doubt myself.

I fear, if I am ever gonna escape this.

The music never stops. The horses keep rising and falling. The lights keep spinning. And I keep wondering whether I'm supposed to enjoy this ride or find a way off it.