Me to my past self

What did you handle better this time than you would have a year ago?

A year ago, I thought every problem needed an immediate solution. If something went wrong I would overthink it for days. I would replay the conversations in my head wonder what I could have done differently and convince myself that every mistake was much bigger than it really was. I carried little disappointment like they were permenent scres giving them far more power then they deserved.

Today, I still worry. I still overthink sometimes. But I have noticed something has changed. I have became better at letting time do it's job.

Not every uncomfortable feeling needs to be fixed today. Not every unanswered message means someone is upset. Not every setback is the beginning of failure. I have learned that many problems solve themselves if we stop feeding them with endless anxiety. Sometimes all they need is the patience.

I think one of the biggest lessons I have learned is that emotions are temporary even when they don't feel like it. A year ago, a bad day would convince me I was living a bad life. A rejection felt like proof that I was not good enough. A mistake felt like something I would never recover from. Now I know that feeling are visiters. They arraive and stay for a while and eventually leave. They don't deserve to become a permenent residents in my mind.

I have also became better at accepting things I cannot control. There was a time when I wanted everything to go according to the plan. If something unexpected happened it felt like my entire day is ruined. Now I understand that life rarely follows the script we have written for it.

Delays happen. People change. Oppertunity disappear. New ones appear when we least expect them. Fighting reality exhausts us. Accepting it gives the energy to move forward.

Another thing I have handles better is the failure. A year ago I measured myself by my achivements. If I succeeded I felt valuable and If I failed then I questioned everything about myself. Today I see failures differently. It is not longer the verdict of who I am. It is simply an information. It tells we what didn't work and what needs improvement and where can I grow. The shift made failure less frightening and learning feels much more rewarding.

Looking back I am grateful that I wasn't the person I am today a year ago. Because if I had never struggle then I would have never learned how to manage those struggles with a little more grace.