Loyalty is a reward

This story comes from my corporate life. In our office within our group we used to discuss a lot of things. Experience, beliefs, challenges, thoughts, mythology, everything be used to discuss. Our group was not judgmental. We would listen to each other without any judgements. There was one such discussion that took place and it changed my perspective.

On one particular afternoon we had gathered together at one of my friend's desk. It was the holiday time for our clients. I believe it was the Christmas and New Year time. We had no blind meetings because the clients were out on their vacations. We had no particular work that day have ever the management wanted us to stay in the office. So we were chatting and killing time.

Our discussion started with a very generalized topic. It progressed further into relationships. Then we started discussing the marriages. One of my friends said loyalty cannot be expected in this time and age.

It shocked me when she said that. This friend was married. She was in a long distance relationship. She dated her now husband for 5 years. They were college friends who later started dating. While they were dating they were in a long distance relationship. In India while he used to travel abroad. He was working with Indian Embassy so he used to travel a lot. He would come to India for only few days and then he would return. Now that they were married they were still staying apart. She was in India while he was in South Africa. She was waiting for her visa. It was surprising coming from her.

"Why are you saying that?" I asked her partially because of curiosity and partially because I sensed sone trouble. She would have been the last person to not believe in loyalty. I felt that loyalty is the cornerstone of the long distance relationships.

"I said what I said. Loyalty is not a hard limit. It is a reward. Noone can be trusted to stay loyal in this era. Loyalty is just a fancy term anf nothing else." She said that flatly. As if what she said did not bother her. Like it was a news on television that had nothing to do with her.

After all ours was a no judgement group. We did not ask her any further on this topic but she was firm in her belief. Me and my friend later discussed this idea. I was still not able to wrap my head around that thought. For me, loyalty and honesty were the paramount important traits. Not just for a romantic relationship but for all relations. So I asked my friend what she thought about it. Mind you this friend was not from my office and knew nothing about the background of this question.

My friend agreed that loyalty is rare but not extinct. We can still find loyal people. But dishonesty and disloyalty should not be normalized. I felt little relieved to hear her thoughts.

I still believe that loyalty is not a reward. It is the most basic requirement for any relationship. If someone is not loyal to me, they do not deserve to be in my circle. I could be called old fashioned but I stand by my values - one of which is loyalty.