Life is both simple and complex

Life is complex for a few people and simple for another few. It depends on how one perceives it further depending upon the course of events that makes it either complex or simple.

Well, my life has both been simple and complex , simple at few stages while complex at other stages of life. I was born with all the luxuries in terms of most of my needs and desires getting fulfilled. I had a very restless brain in my childhood and still have one. Today, at 43 years of age,

I came to know, that it may be probably what we call Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in the world and terminology of psychiatry disorders. When, I say , psychiatry, you can quick - guess that I might have probably visited psychiatrists for my treatment over the years. Although, a formal diagnosis of ADHD ( Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), was made at 43 years of age. Which my psychiatrist calls it Adult ADHD. Before, formally being diagnosed with a label of ADHD.I had undergone many diagnostic labels. If I distance, myself from the world of diagnosis, I can simply say, that I had and still have an overactive mind or a restless mind. Which changes very quickly. It just cannot stay still. It vacillates. Or is fickle - minded. I get intervening thoughts. Which makes it really difficult to stay focussed on one particular thing. As mentioned before, that I had no difficulty with most of my needs and desires getting fulfilled as I was born to parents pursuing Govt. Jobs. Although, both my parents have seen struggle in early years of their career in terms of finances but they would try to fulfill most of my needs and desires. In early childhood, we are not literally aware of the word desires and what goes behind fulfilling it.The day to day hard work as well. We simply wish and demand from our parents , and they try their best to grant our wishes as per their financial capacity. Here, I am not talking about strict parents who try to curb certain wishes of their children by simply not understanding that a child is incapable of fulfilling his/her desires by himself/herself. It is just the parent’s personality, that dominates. This personality could have been inherited or it would have taken shape due to their own circumstances for example, our parents- parents might have nurtured them on strict guidelines. Now, talking about my parents - especially, my mother was the one who would discipline me highly. But would not oversee the fact ; that her daughter too has her own needs and a child makes a comparison when she observes her friends. So, that way, I was lucky. As most of my needs and desires were fulfilled. My mother, understood that a growing child needs so many things at different points of time. My father would too support her in their venture of nurturing me and growing me. The biggest challenge for my parents was to silence my talkative brain. I was fairly fine when it came to scoring and performing in languages.Science and Mathematics was not my forte. I scored really badly in the afore - mentioned subjects. I could not balance equations in Chemistry and could not understand mathematics really well. My class teacher who was also a teacher of Mathematics , would often tell my mother, that your child knows problems and the solutions both. I wonder , why she is not just able to do it ! The culprit , behind was my restless brain, which would and till date affect my focus and concentration. Many children are not able to score well especially in Mathematics and Science but all of them don’t necessarily have a restless brain. Some do not have interest, some are just mischievous, a few others may be dull headed or have low IQ’s and the reasons of not being able to score well could be another few. During my schoolday’s the issue was not only, my scoring poorly in Mathematics and Science. But it was also not being able to get along well with other’s of my age.Yes, my peers. I also started having inferiority complex when, I was in 8 th Standard. And from there the chain of psychological issues begun. Those days, psychiatry problems were not in awareness of our parents generation. I started medication years later and while pursuing my Mater’s. Today, I am on medication. But, it is not helping me much. It has not been successful in totally silencing my overactive brain. Having said that, medication is only partially helping me in terms of quietning my brain. There are a few cases, where, medication helps fully in a psyciatric condition but there are cases, where it helps partially. Sometimes, psychotherapy is needed alongside medication. Now, in psychotherapy too, there are cases that are compliant but there are also cases who take their own time to show compliance. But yes, seeing a psychotherpist year after year can really help in cases where immediate compliance is an issue. I have started with my psychotherapy consistently now. Earlier, it just did not click!The sufferer ,takes home atleast something after each session. Consistency in seeing the psychotherpist is the key to gain success in non - compliant cases. Yes, it takes time in such cases and as a result suffering gets prolonged for both the sufferer and the family. As living a normal life is far for such a person and their families. A life to be considered normal , in our societal set - up, is to study, pursue a job or something of one’s own. And then marry. But to such children who have some sort of psychiatric disorder and are only partially well, do not undergo this societal healthy growth in life, that is - study,do job/ something of their own and then marry. If I have got most of my needs met since childhood , I have undergone a deep struggle inside of me. Which makes my life both simple and complex. Simple, I say, because, I got things easily from parents. But complex due to my inner struggle which the psychiatrists call ADHD or have been labelling me with their own set of diagnosis in past.

Thank- you for reading till so far.