I think I leave little pieces of myself Everywhere

I don't know other people feel this to but sometimes I think every place I have lived in has kept a version of me.

Not literally obviously. Button some strange way.

The classroom where are used to set near the window. The hostel room there I spend nights pretending to study but actually over thinking everything. The tiny tea stall outside college you are my friends and I kept saying five more minutes and some how those 5 minutes always become an hour.

I pass these places now and they look exactly the same.

I am the one who feels different.

A few weeks ago I was cleaning my cupboard and I found an old movie ticket inside and notebook. I don't even remember why I kept it. The movie was not life changing. The ticket had faded so much that I could be really read the date the second I held at, I remember that entire evening full stop who I was with the. What we laugh about to stop the stupid argument we had over which route to take home it so real that for a second I forgot all those dear had already passed.

Memories weird. It does not always keep the important things. It keeps random Tuesday sometimes I miss people. Sometimes I miss the person I was with those people. I think there is a difference. Growing up is not loud. Nobody announces at. It happens when your parents effect asking for your opinion instead of making every decision for you. It happens when a home start feeling both familiar and unesamiliar at the same time it happens when you stop by call everyone else has them. It happens when you realise bees his actually more exciting then proving a point.

I Still overthink. A lot.

Sometimes I replay conversations in my head before sleeping wondering if I sounded rude or awkward or just... strange. Most people probably forgot those conversations 5 minutes later. My brain keeps them for free.

Not the best subscription honestly.

One evening it is started raining while I was walking back. Everyone around me started running for shelter. I did not. I just kept walking. My shoes were completely wet. My bag was probably you and. My hair look to terrible. But for those 10 minutes I was not thinking about internships or deadlines or weather I am doing enough with my life. I was there. Nice. I wish I left like that more often.

There is a poet by Rainer Maria rilke that I wrote on my last page of one of my notebooks. Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart. I did not understand it when at first read it.

I think I do now. Just because I am finally realising I don't have to earn my worth by constantly achieving something. Maybe existing is enough on some days. Maybe resting is not falling behind maybe growing up with simply learning to make peace with the parts of yourself that are still unfinished. And if that prove the maybe I am doing better then I think I am.