First wisher

"Why did you not text on the group? Why did you not wish her on the group? What are you scheming? Are you trying to make all of us look incompetent?" my friend was screaming at the top of her voice over the phonr. She was angry with me because I did not wish one of our friends on the group. I messaged my friend privately and I wished her. I had also called her and wish for in person.

Let me get this story straight. In my group I am the only one who looks through the social media accounts and remembers the birthdays. So if someone's birthday is after 2 days I have already noted that down. Before the notification of the social media hits I have already wished that person. This is how I function. Hence most of the times I am the first wisher to the birthday girl or a birthday boy. This has been going on for a very long time.

Then I started noticing a pattern. Not only that I am the first wisher, but if I message late then nobody else wishes before me. Nobody else bothers to go through the social media to find out whether it is someone's birthday or nobody cares to remember soneone's birthday. Something that I started as a fun activity is now my responsibility. If I do not wish that person nobody wishes that person on the group or in person.

I tried to test out my theory for one of my friend's birthday. Instead of wishing my friend at midnight or early in the morning I wished at 1:00 p.m.. No midnight wishes or no early morning wishes from anybody else. Once I posted my wishes all the other started flooding that group with wishes. So now it was evidented that it has to be initiated by me or else nobody even bothers to find out if it is a friend's birthday. At first I got a little upset. Then I thought about the entire situation. Nobody had told me to keep an eye on someone's birthday. It was my own initiative. I was posting on group so that others would know as well and they would wish the birthday person. To me wishing the birthday girl or the birthday boy was more important than being the first. Also it was not my responsibility to remind the grown adults about their friend's birthday. Then on my best friend S's birthday, I decided that I will take a different approach to wish her.

At 12 midnight I wished S on 1:1 chat. I deliberately did not wish her on the group. I considered it to be a part of my social experiment. It was successful as the results turned out to be what I had expected. Nobody remembered S's birthday. Obviously so nobody wished her on the group. I did not even try to find out if someone wish her 1:1 just like how I had done. I spoke to S on her birthday. Two days later I had called her for some work. That is when I found out excluding me none of our friends from our group had wish her on her birthday. It was definitely devastating. I felt bad for S but at the same time it was not my responsibility to keep track of friends birthdays.

Then I took another turn. I wanted to make every friend in our group to feel guilty for not wishing S. I posted on our friends group. This is when I received an angry phone call from a friend. She had accused me of deliberately trying to break our group. I simply told her that being adult does not mean growing up. It also means putting the efforts to save relationships and friendship. It is not my fault that she has not understood her responsibilities as an adult. So that is a story of how I became villain in our friends group for wishing her privately. Guilty as charged.