Empathy vs practicality

It was a regular Wednesday for me. IPod tired from the busy day at the office and had just returned home. Outside the door step I found two pairs of shoes, a high heeled sandals and a child's sandals. That was enough to tell me that we had visitors. My tired body and soul were not ready to socialize.

As I entered my home I heard my mother speaking with someone. I also heard the voice of my nephew. Then I heard the voice of a woman and a child which I did not a recognise. Apparently they were the visitors. Surprisingly they were not sitting in the living room but in the bedroom. I had come home and 2 minutes in home where sufficient to increase my frustration.

I entered the bedroom to see the visitors. They were the women and her neuro divergent son who were living in my complex. They wear sitting on the floor behind which was my wardrobe. Until and unless they mood I won't be able to open my wardrobe and change into my clothes. I had no option but to wait till the department so that I can change and relax. I did not set but I stood at the door of the bedroom. It was my intentional move so that the women understands that it is the time for her to leave.

But nothing happened as per my plan. My nephew and the women's son where playing and they continued to play for next 20 minutes. I wanted to maintain my composer and stand in the doorbeen for 20 minutes but I was really tired from that day's work. Finally I said down on the bed, still waiting for them to leave. 10 minutes later the woman said that it was the time for her son to have his medicines and hence they must leave. I gave out a loud sigh of relief so that everyone in the room can notice it. The visitors left.

I knew that my mother was angry with me for my behaviour, "why did you act like that? The boy has ADHD. They just want help".

" You want to help go ahead and help them. When I come back from work I want time and space to relax. I want to change into comfortable clothes and relax. But because you are belated visitors were sitting in front of my wardrobe I could not do that. If they want to come they can come but they should leave before I come home. When I come home I want peaceful home," I blasted out. I was upset because they have already wasted over half an hours of my time.

"I am not going to tell them anything as such. They are already facing so many challenges. I am not going to tell them to be here at certain time and leave at certain time," my mother said with a sad, disappointed, and upset tone.

" Okay next time if I come home and their here I am going to do that favour myself. You guys don't understand the boundary and expect us to continue living a life without boundaries. Not going to happen with me," I expressed my anger and frustration.

"The boy is unwell. He needs to socialize. Where is your empathy?" My mother asked me surprised because this is not how she is used to seeing me.

"After working for a 10 hours there is only one sensation left in the body and mind - that is fatigue. It conquers all the other sensations and feelings. Talking about empathy then be empathetic towards me as well. Before you go on helping the world first you need to help someone in your home as well," what I said came right out from my heart. I spoke clearly which I would never have spoken otherwise.

Sometimes fatigue give us the bravery by removing all filters, I understood it that day.