Army of one

I was attending the wedding of one of my younger cousins. My cousin was approximately 7 year younger to me. All my cousins who wear from the same generation had been married. Now the younger cousins to were getting married. And then it was me who was unmarried at the age of 36. Whenever there would be any family gathering I had to keep my guard up so that I can fight for myself. It was one of such days.

I was joined by one of my cousins, Prarthana, who was elder to me by 7 years. She had been married for over 15 years and now had a quiet the typical mindset of the elderly relatives. She said next to me and said, "are you having fun?"

I thought it was a casual enquiry. I said, "yes. I wish other cousins had joined. It would have been a blast".

She smile almost smirked. Then she said, "oh my darling sister. All cousins are getting married. The ones younger than you have also started getting married. I wish I could see you walk the aisle". Then she made a fake sad face.

I knew where this discussion was going. I knew she was looking for an opportunity to pond me about not being married at the age of 36. But I decided to play a different game. I look that her and made a sad face, "why do you say that? Are you unwell and have limited days to live?"

She instantly got angry, " how dare you say that? You are really heartless. Younger cousins are getting married but he or you are sitting at your parents home unmarried. When I am expressing my concern you are a thinking that I am dying? This is really cruel".

Now it was my turn to respond, " first I am not sitting idle. I am a working professional and bringing change to the society. Second getting married it is not an achievement. Otherwise all of you would have your name in Hall of Fame. It is one of the rituals which is optional and not mandatory. It was your choice to get married. It is my choice do not get married. I respect it your choice and I expect you to respect mine".

Apparently for her my response was not good enough. She still appeared angry and she said, " you know what sister. I think it is this attitude that is keeping you away from any companionship. You think highly of yourself. You think you are better than everyone in the world. This is the kind of attitude and behaviour that is keeping you away from good contenders. If you do not melo down you might end up being single forever".

By this time I had also become angry. I had not saying anything rude towards her which would make her angry. I simply expressed my thoughts and she considered them to be insult. But saying mean things towards me where is still not considered this respectful. I said, "didi it is not me being rude but you should listen to what you have been speaking. It is fine if I end up single and I am not afraid to live my life that way. However it is really not kind of you to try to inside someone in one of your own relatives wedding. You are creating a scene and becoming the centre of attention. It is not a good deed on your part". I still maintained the politeness and dignity while speaking despite being angry.

She was in denial," forget it you will never understand. Don't approach us when you are a single and need help".

I had a perfect response to this remark. I sang Miley's song

Midnight sky is the road I'm taking

Head high up in the clouds

I was born to run, I don't belong to anyone, oh no.

I don't need to be loved by you.