A better life

Sometimes am surrounded by people but still feel lonely.Back then in high-school, I wanted attention as I was always alone. I sometime wondered how the so called popular kids life went in school. It must be fun right? Now am in college , am not alone but the burden of loneliness is still carrying in my shoulder, You r wrong! Am not popular but now ik how to communicate well so even if am surrounded by people I feel overwhelmed. Now I thank God that I didn't be those popular kids, well actually I was watching from the external prespective cuz we never know what they r oing through. Now I somehow feel peace even if am alone but loneliness is somehow worse like bruh I can't keep my mind shut even when am surrounded by ppl, I feel like invisible, the constant thoughts that "these happiness won't last get ready for far worse", "no one cares". I feel like head gonna burst